Tightrope Walkin'

Okay, I admit it.  I am someone who needs to be affirmed by words to feel like I am loved or that I am doing a good job.  I guess I  am much like a dog in that sense.  If you could hold my face in your hands and squeeze my cheeks together and in your mushiest gushiest voice say:

"You are such a good girl, Leslie, yes you are!"  "Good job, Leslie, what a good good job!" 

I will feel adequate and worthy....for the time being.

Can you EVEN imagine how much I stress about the "Likes" my blog posts get on Facebook and how many "Retweets" I can get on Twitter. 

I have to constantly remind myself that my worth is not attached to how many people LIKE what I do.

I have a friend who feels affirmed when someone brings her a coffee from Starbucks or picks something up at store that reminds them of her.  She feels loved and appreciated by gifts. (Nothing expensive, just the idea of that someone remembered her and was generous enough to share something with her.)


We all have different ways we receive and even give love to and from others. There is a great book called The 5 Love Languages that I HIGHLY recommend you run, NOT WALK, and go read!!

Spoiler Alert: The 5 Love Languages
Words of Affirmation
Acts of Service
Physical Touch
Quality Time
Gifts

It's easy to get frustrated when you feel like a friend, your spouse, or a coworker doesn't appreciate you-but the truth is they may think they are appreciating you, they are just doing it in a way that THEY receive encouragement.

Understanding how you-and those around you best receive love will help you understand how to be better in your relationships all across the board. 

That wont make it easy!  For people who do not need words of encouragement to feel appreciated it may seem too "needy" of me to have to constantly have say: "Good Work Leslie!"

I can literally hear those people in my head saying:

"Ugh, why do I constantly  have to tell you over and over that you are good at what you do!?"

It is hard to ask for what you need, I actually hate it.  I don't like to seem needy.  I am actually scared to death to seem needy.  I wish like crazy that I was the bionic woman who needed nothing from anyone!  I don't know why I am like that.  I am still working on it.

Being vulnerable is like walking a tight rope, it is terrifying (for most of us) but its important. 
It is equally important to make effort to meet those needs in others-even if their love language doesn't match yours.

When we can be aware of how love languages work, we will have better friendships, marriages, work environments, and relationships with our kids. 

It is worth the work.

Currently listening to: He Knows My Name by Francesca Battistelli