Hey! Leggo my EGO!

Confession: I have a really big ego and I like to control most everything.

I am prideful and I do NOT like to admitting I am wrong or that I made a mistake.

I tend to put the blame on others-pointing out their flaws and how it is always someone else's fault-NOT MINE!

My natural insticts tell me that admitting defeat, is a sign of weakness. 

God has broken this in me lately. Well... maybe not "broken" but made it clear to me.  When I feel rejected or betrayed, I wanted all parties to pay!  I want to so badly to shout from the mountain tops how wrong they were!  Playing the victim is much more fun and rewarding!

This is how I react!  What I have learned is that when I find myself in these moments, I need to resist all my instincts and stay quiet.  I need to process what I am feeling and think things through so that I can RESPOND in an appropriate way.

Sometimes weeks, months, maybe even years must pass before the smoke can clear and you can find yourself  thinking clearly.  To understand that nothing is really one sided and that you own something in whatever conflict you find yourself in.  We could chase our tails trying to prove who was in the wrong but the only fact we need recognize is that we hurt someone we love. No if's, ands, or buts about it.

As I have mentioned earlier-we may try to JUSTIFY our motives, but the brass tax is this:

 treating someone poorly is never an excuse.

The truth is that it was ME who needed to admit I was wrong.  It was ME who had a lesson to learn.
 I put my EGO aside and waved my white flag...and said the 3 hardest words I have ever had to say....

"I am sorry."

Sometimes your appolgies aren't accepted, but the good news is, freedom does not come from someone's forgiveness of you or me, but it comes from our willingness to admit our wrongs, take the blame, expose our guilt, forgive OURSELVES and keep rowing our boat...trusting God with the rest.

Holding onto bitternes get's us nowhere…

we need to follow God's example by showing mercy and grace to those who have hurt us–
"It is finished, you don’t owe me anymore…I am letting the debt of wrongdoing go!!!”

That is when you will be Free.  We are new!

What To Do When You Don’t Know What To Do!

I don’t know about any of you, but for me, there comes a breeze of bad news or heartache once every 5-10 years.  Bad news or hard times usually paralyze me. When I am emotional, I freeze.  I never know exactly what to do  that would bring me out of the “funk” that I am in.

Now, that I am a seasoned veteran of these “Deer in the Headlight” moments, I would like to pass on a few words of wisdom that have “helped” me over the years… 

1.       There is NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING that watching the movie “Hope Floats” over and over can not heal. To enhance this experience, I suggest a bath robe and a box of Kleenex-and maybe not shower for a few days.

2.       Ice Cream.  EAT IT!  Gallons of it.  And while you are at it…grab a couple hundred warm buttery dinner rolls.  I have never known either to betray my trust, break my heart, or be anything BUT a good friend.

3.       If you are dealing with an addiction or trying to grieve a relationship--I suggest being proactive and shift your addiction to something else…something like, pinterest. (google it and while you are at it come out of the cave you have been living in)

4.       When you need to let out some anxiety or aggression, grab your purse and hit the nearest mall or SuperTarget.  People frown on retail therapy but they have obviously never known the rush of buying chapstick and a new pair of shoes and how it can feel as good and comforting as an electric blanket on a freezing cold day … so I tell those people to GET OVER IT!

5.       Go to your nearest hardware store.  Purchase 2 pairs of Work Goggles. Keep one pair and send the other pair to your best friend.  If things are gonna get messy in your life, all you need is a good pair of protective goggles and your best friend to push ahead.

6.       Journal.  (or in my case do a  blog)  There are few things better than “word barfing”  your feelings all over a piece of paper.  It gets your feelings out of your mind and for a few minutes…you might feel better!    ……just ask Taylor Swift.

7.       Listen to the radio, search for songs that pertain to your life.  Imagine what your life would look like as that music video.  Then snap out of it…when was the last time you even saw a music video. Lame.  News Flash: 1985 called and wants their music video back.

8.       Dig deep into the wide wide world of inspirational quotes. No matter who said it, and how many hundreds of years ago they said it, make yourself believe they were going through the EXACT thing you are, and feel at ease that you are not the only one.  Maya Angelo, Mother Teresa, Corrie Tin Boom, and Elanore Rosavelt obviously had “dramz” like you and had to tell people to talk to their hands on a daily basis. I mean, Clearly!?

9.       Play the “AT LEAST” game.  This is one of my favorites.  Compare yourself to others in worse situations and think… “At least I am not…….(insert whatever worse scenario you can think of here)  “It could be worse, I could be ugly.”

10.   Laugh.  Laughing is the best medicine.  Stop taking yourself so seriously.  This one is the most important.  Might I suggest Tina Fey’s book BossyPants…  it’s a good start!

I am not a doctor or a professional at anything…

so if these don’t work I recommend trying a crazy 8 ball.  When in doubt, ask a magic ball. 

When “all signs point to NO” ….try it again.  Do it over and over until you get the answer you want.

After all…who is really in charge of our happiness? 

 I think it’s us!?

***Note this was all “tongue and cheek”  and totally meant to be funny-these thoughts do not endorse my REAL  thoughts on coping.  However I do highly recommend laughing….  That one is clutch.