Hey! Leggo my EGO!

Confession: I have a really big ego and I like to control most everything.

I am prideful and I do NOT like to admitting I am wrong or that I made a mistake.

I tend to put the blame on others-pointing out their flaws and how it is always someone else's fault-NOT MINE!

My natural insticts tell me that admitting defeat, is a sign of weakness. 

God has broken this in me lately. Well... maybe not "broken" but made it clear to me.  When I feel rejected or betrayed, I wanted all parties to pay!  I want to so badly to shout from the mountain tops how wrong they were!  Playing the victim is much more fun and rewarding!

This is how I react!  What I have learned is that when I find myself in these moments, I need to resist all my instincts and stay quiet.  I need to process what I am feeling and think things through so that I can RESPOND in an appropriate way.

Sometimes weeks, months, maybe even years must pass before the smoke can clear and you can find yourself  thinking clearly.  To understand that nothing is really one sided and that you own something in whatever conflict you find yourself in.  We could chase our tails trying to prove who was in the wrong but the only fact we need recognize is that we hurt someone we love. No if's, ands, or buts about it.

As I have mentioned earlier-we may try to JUSTIFY our motives, but the brass tax is this:

 treating someone poorly is never an excuse.

The truth is that it was ME who needed to admit I was wrong.  It was ME who had a lesson to learn.
 I put my EGO aside and waved my white flag...and said the 3 hardest words I have ever had to say....

"I am sorry."

Sometimes your appolgies aren't accepted, but the good news is, freedom does not come from someone's forgiveness of you or me, but it comes from our willingness to admit our wrongs, take the blame, expose our guilt, forgive OURSELVES and keep rowing our boat...trusting God with the rest.

Holding onto bitternes get's us nowhere…

we need to follow God's example by showing mercy and grace to those who have hurt us–
"It is finished, you don’t owe me anymore…I am letting the debt of wrongdoing go!!!”

That is when you will be Free.  We are new!