Whinnie The Pooh Backpack and College

I grew up with what I believe we could now, safely call learning disabilities.

I was a poor reader as a child, I  was always in lowest level reading group.  I could read, I just could not comprehend anything that I read.  Although I was never diagnosed as a child, I am confident I also struggled with attention deficit issues.  (...and still do.)

I loved classes like art and music.  I also really enjoyed assignments that required creativity and gave us the freedom to choose a topic to write about.  Most of my school days were spent with my head in the clouds, daydreaming or doodling as my teacher would be teaching the rest of my class.

 If tutoring was offered, I was there.  In high school, I am convinced that I passed algebra because we were given bonus points for attending tutoring.  I attended both before and after school tutoring every single day.  I passed math classes by accumulating those bonus points.


I dropped out of college  the start of my junior year and went to beauty school.  Before you start singing "Beauty School Dropout," you should know that I did complete the 1500 hours required by the state of Indiana and passed the State Board and am officially a licenced cosmetologist.

My early 20's were spent mothering my babies as a stay at home mom.  I had our first child when I was 23 and our second, when I was 25.  It was shortly after our second child was born that I felt inspired to finish my degree.

So, at 25 years old, I decided to go back to college.

Before I go any further, I want to share that while I was in college, there was an older "Adult Ed" student in some of my classes and she would walk around campus going to her classes with a Whinnie The Pooh backpack on wheels.

This was my picture of what it looked like to be an Adult Ed-Non Traditional College student.

I was worried that I would be perceived as the old woman with the Whinnie The Pooh backpack and that paralyzed me for some time.  I was ( and still am) very self conscience of what others think of me.

Fear runs my life... a lot.

I say all of this because I know there are some of you that might be quietly wishing you could change careers or go back to college but feel like it's' too late for you. 

You, also, don't want to be linked with the Whinnie The Pooh backpack.

I get it!

I just want you to know that as long as you have breath in those lungs, it is not too late for you!  We have an incredible opportunity afforded to us in technology.  We can go to school online and do class work on our own time, freeing up time so that we can juggle homework with raising our children and working full time jobs.

In fact, I turned in a final THE DAY our youngest child was born!

Growing up, I never thought I would be a college graduate.  It never occurred to me that it would be something that I could achieve. 

What I have learned is that though I was not ready for college as a traditional student, I was able to excel as a non traditional student.  I don't know if it was because I needed time to grow up or if I finally realized what was holding me back, but I did it!

The pride that I feel in accomplishing my degree in the middle of raising children is more gratifying than any actual job that will follow.

I did it! 

So can you.


GO!

Different Shoes and Chipped Nail Polish

I have a friend that is a time champion.  She will post pictures on social media of her 14 books that she is reading, her journal, her perfect cup of coffee all strategically placed on her spotless coffee table in her spotless house.

I have a love/hate relationship with her.  She raises the bar for me, and since I am a lazy slob and just want to lay on the couch and watch every season of New Girl on  Netflix from start to finish, she is a source of inspiration and encouragement that you can have 3 kids and still do the things that are important to you.


But then you have a morning like this:




This story comes to you from sometime around 2007, I had only 2 children at the time and they were ages 3 and 1. 

I woke up that morning focused on ONE THING-cleaning toilets.  We were having company over that evening and I was kept awake most of the night thinking about all that I needed to do to get the house cleaned.   I threw on one of Adams HUGE t-shirts and some pants that lost its drawstring in one of my pregnancies, slipped on  my shoes and was out the door.

I walked my oldest into preschool and spoke to her teacher, smiling and passing all the moms who somehow managed to lose all their baby weight and wake up before God to make sure every hair is in place and throw on an entire outfit, which, from head to toe could be found on any Pinterest fashion board owned by women our age.

It wasn’t until I was leaving that I saw my own reflection in the front door and noticed I was wearing two different shoes.


I would love to have a structured routine in my life.  To those of you who DO have a daily routine it probably seems so simple, but for me, if it takes any kind of effort, I tend to avoid it!

That’s just my lazy nature.

I tend to admire  disciplined people from afar.  Those of you who get up at 5am and have your quiet time with God and then run a mile  while listening to your carefully selected worship  music playlist.  Not to mention, you have done it all before 7am.  .

While I want to be just like you when I grow up, I have to wonder, what it is that helps you relax?  It must be stressful to be you.  Always having every minute planned and accounted for, it’s like you are  mom machine!  Maybe you should be the one writing a blog?

Sigh.

What if we (I) stopped comparing ourselves to other moms and instead allowed ourselves to be inspired by them?  None of us have this mothering thing figured out-we are all just “wingin” it.  We have so much to learn from each other and we have alot to share with other moms from the things we have experienced.  This is not a competition.  

Wait.  Go grab a pen and write this down:

Motherhood is not a competition.  

How would your life change, if you and I  were willing to admit that you are not in competition with the moms you are busy comparing yourself to?

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” -Unknown

Currently Listening to:  WHEN THE CRAZY KICKS IN

The One With The Urine Sample

So, funny story-that wasn’t so funny at the time. 

Years ago, when Jared (who is now 8) was around 15 months old, he started showing some signs of a possible Urinary Tract Infection. So.. I took him to the doctor.

At the doctor's office, the nurse asked for a urine sample.

I laughed to myself, “Do they even know our son?” 

 “Have they ever met this WILD CRAZY child?”  “Do they really think that my Jared is going to pee in a cup?”



YEAH RIGHT, I thought. 

I began to sweat as I gathered my toddler and preschooler up, along with our coats, diaper bag and sippy cup, and headed for the restroom-all the while thinking:

"THIS IS NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN"

I took his diaper off and I kid you not, 10 seconds later he was peeing!  I grabbed the cup and he filled it full!!

CAN YOU EVEN IMAGINE MY RELIEF??

I felt like I had the prize winning pig at the county fair!

I was so proud! I put the cup on the back of the toilet and began to put his diaper on him and just as I was dreaming about how advanced and brilliant my child must obviously be, I heard the sound of the toilet flushing.

I looked up and  there was his 3 year old sister dumping his cup in the toilet..............

I think a part of me died.

I screamed!!!

 "Cassity!! Why on earth did you do that!?!?"

She replied, as if to scold me: "Pee is for the potty, Mommy!"

I walked out to the nurses station in a full on sweat, my head tucked between my tail like a shamed puppy.

After I explained what had happened...

They laughed. Everyone  I have told so far has laughed.....

I can only laugh now.  (7 years later)

If you believe parenting is always picture perfect, I feel it is my life calling to loosen you up! Laugh at yourself! It's funny!

What NOT to Expect When You are Expecting

Oh that magical wedding day, most of us girls dream about from the time we see a Brides magazine in 4th grade and decide to start making a wedding scrapbook of all the dresses you think are pretty. 

No? Just me? 

Fine. I digress.

I look at my wedding pictures and sincerely do see the three gleams of my children in my eyes. I thought I had it all figured out-life was no longer a mystery to this 21 year old bride!

I had no idea. Like, none. A grand total of zero ideas.

Something I  noticed during my stay at the hospital after delivering all three of my little angels was, that it seems like all the nurses that have to “check” you-post delivery are cute, young and named “Jordan."

Worse yet, Jordyn with a "Y."

You know, nurse “Jordyn,”  the one who  prances in smelling like the newest Brittney Spears perfume and wearing bon-e-bell lip gloss, weighing, what you guess to be, approximately the size of your right leg. (That is, if you could actually feel your legs. #epiduralprobs)

Yeah, her.

As if we need anymore humbling moments!  Picture it: there you lay, in your backless hospital gown, sleep deprived, wearing a pad the size of a pampers swaddler and a pair of manufactured gauz underwear, absolutely glowing.

Glowing!

Is there anything like passing a child out of something that, up until that monumental day, you were to hold sacred like a flower garden only to now have an adorable,  22 year old be-what feels like-elbow deep in checking you uterus and your bandaging your incisions.

Look, Jordyn,  I know that there is probably not a pic of this  on your wedding Pinterest board, but I just crapped on a table with my entire family watching as if it were an action 

sci-fi movie, and now, they  have sent me the cutest girl at the sorority house to remind me of what a gigantic bleeding monster I have become and how my legs are now dead weight and that I haven't brushed my hair in days.


This is it, Jordyn, the part they leave out in all the Brides magazines, take some time to make a mental note. Now, go take a selfie to post on “insta” and talk to your bae on facetime! You will need the evidence that there was once a time when you were young, free and actually liked your husband!

But while you are here, let me add that your best days are still ahead of you-just wait and see!
.......while you are at it, grab me some more of that amazing hospital ice and two Vicodin. 

Thanks.

A Birthday Carole

My birthday is tomorrow. I guess I am still young enough to admit my age..so, here goes: I will be 34. I always get nostalgic during the week leading up to my birthday. For example, I am visited by The Ghost of Birthdays Past.
Most days I cant remember where I lay my keys but I can remember my 5th Birthday Party like it was yesterday!

Growing up, I had some fun birthday parties. 

Take 1988, for example when we invited my friends to a swim party at the University(indoor) pool in my hometown! I had an ALF cake that year! In 1990, I turned 10 and I invited 3 friends over for my first slumber party and... Get this! We had to pile in the van and go to a store full of VHS tapes that could be rented and returned!! (After it was rewound first-obviously!) It's how we, pioneers did it...before Netflix!

We rented the movie "Beetlejuice" and ordered pizza.

The Birthday when I was 4th grade was my last big birthday party and it was a Bart Simpson themed skate party-that most my friends left early from to go to a Taylor Dayne concert. (I guarantee you did not expect to think about Taylor Dayne today! You are so welcome for that!)

Most of my high school Birthdays were spent cheering football games. My 18th Birthday was celebrated at a regional playoff game 2 hours away from home. All was made right with me when the entire football team sang "happy birthday" to me after the game at a Ryan's Steakhouse.
(It was super dreamy!)

As I have gotten older, I have come to realize that your Birthday is truly your New Year! The "start over" that you might be needing! The push you might need to start something you have been putting off until later.

So tonight, on the Eve of my Birthday I am hoping to be visited by The Ghost of Birthday Present- to remember to be grateful for all the blessings I have! As a peek through the window of what is, I hope that I am reminded of the abundance of blessings in my life! My family, my friends, a great church, a warm house, good health, and opportunities that I have right now!

It seems like the present always gets a bad wrap. Do you ever notice that when we are asked how long we have been married, or how long we have been at a job, that we say :


"Oh... It will be 13 years this summer..."

Why don't we say: "12 years."

It's easy to get so busy that we don't see the forest because of all of the trees.  I have a lot to celebrate and so do you! The question is, have we made time to recognize it?

I also hope to get a visit from The Ghost of Birthdays Yet to Come.


This is the place I tend to spend most of my time. I live in the future-sometimes to a fault. I'm always daydreaming and thinking about what next! The years certainly are flying by and before we know it time slips away from us!  Just as we do each year on New Year's Eve, I think it is important to set some goals that we have for our new birth year. I'm a visual person, I have to see something tangible to keep it close to my mind!

Make a list! Tape to your bathroom mirror or hang it on your refrigerator to remind you of those things you want to accomplish!

Your Birthday is a fresh start and it's never too late! Let's make this year the best year yet!

Happy Birthday-Happy New Year!

The MotherHOOD: 5 Lessons

Becoming a mom happens so differently for all of us girls.

Some of us just have to walk past a pregnancy test aisle of a store and they are lighting up positive like a Christmas tree. Some of us struggle to get pregnant for years and have to spend money and have surgeries and procedures to finally get pregnant. Some of us have complications and are never able to conceive or maintain a pregnancy full term. Some of us are mothers of children who are now in heaven.  Some of us carried a child for a friend or loved one who could not carry a pregnancy on her own-as a surrogate. Some of us became a mother with the help of a surrogate. 

 Some of us become mothers through adoption. Some of us become mothers before we had ever planned. Some of us become moms of nieces and nephews and fill in the gap for a family member for whatever circumstance, can no longer take care of their children. Some of us become mothers through foster care, and open our hearts and homes to children who find themself in an in between homes season of life.

Regardless of how or when, we are all mothers.

With that being said, I'd like to give any of you rookie moms, some advice on some things I have learned in the last 10.5 years that I have mothered.

1. We are all created differently. 

Give each other a break! Some moms work-some don't. Some moms breastfeed-some don't. Some moms homeschool-some don't.

Stop the constant urge to compare yourself to other moms and also stop the urge to defend the choices that you make as a mom.

Just say to yourself: good for them-not for me. 

Then get back to your own life! You are too busy to play that game anyway! 

2.  Perfect does not exist.

Get out of your own head! There will be days that feel pretty perfect and then there will be days that your child wears a bra on their head while sitting in the cart at target.

You may fool everyone by making them believe your life is like something out of Little House on the Prairie but you will never fool your children! Our kids have a front row seat to our lives and they know what we are really like!

If we are not careful, our kids will soon be unimpressed with our ability to put on a fake face!

Let your kids learn from your mistakes!

3. Don't raise kids-raise adults.

Granted, my children are still in elementary school, but I am already fighting the urge to do things for my kids that they are perfectly capable of doing themselves! 

We have to teach our children how to survive this world without us  and that sometimes means to let them fail.

4. Plan ahead!

Anticipation is the name of the game! When your kids are little, you can not be too prepared. Pack bags and lay out clothes the night before. Why? Because when you are rushing around in the morning that it's easy to forget something. When you pack at night, you have more time to think and take your time.

5. Get a hobby. 

I think that something all moms can be guilty of is not taking time to do something for themselves! Find something you enjoy and get your butt up and go do it!

Our kids need to see us have fun without them! Why? Because they will move away someday and we will be left twiddling our thumbs because we don't have any idea what to do with ourselves and because they need to see our example for when they have children someday!

What did I leave out? I'd love to hear your advice! Truly we are all in this together!