Some of us just have to walk past a pregnancy test aisle of a store and they are lighting up positive like a Christmas tree. Some of us struggle to get pregnant for years and have to spend money and have surgeries and procedures to finally get pregnant. Some of us have complications and are never able to conceive or maintain a pregnancy full term. Some of us are mothers of children who are now in heaven. Some of us carried a child for a friend or loved one who could not carry a pregnancy on her own-as a surrogate. Some of us became a mother with the help of a surrogate.
Some of us become mothers through adoption. Some of us become mothers before we had ever planned. Some of us become moms of nieces and nephews and fill in the gap for a family member for whatever circumstance, can no longer take care of their children. Some of us become mothers through foster care, and open our hearts and homes to children who find themself in an in between homes season of life.
Regardless of how or when, we are all mothers.
With that being said, I'd like to give any of you rookie moms, some advice on some things I have learned in the last 10.5 years that I have mothered.
1. We are all created differently.
Give each other a break! Some moms work-some don't. Some moms breastfeed-some don't. Some moms homeschool-some don't.
Stop the constant urge to compare yourself to other moms and also stop the urge to defend the choices that you make as a mom.
Just say to yourself: good for them-not for me.
Then get back to your own life! You are too busy to play that game anyway!
2. Perfect does not exist.
Get out of your own head! There will be days that feel pretty perfect and then there will be days that your child wears a bra on their head while sitting in the cart at target.
You may fool everyone by making them believe your life is like something out of Little House on the Prairie but you will never fool your children! Our kids have a front row seat to our lives and they know what we are really like!
If we are not careful, our kids will soon be unimpressed with our ability to put on a fake face!
Let your kids learn from your mistakes!
3. Don't raise kids-raise adults.
Granted, my children are still in elementary school, but I am already fighting the urge to do things for my kids that they are perfectly capable of doing themselves!
We have to teach our children how to survive this world without us and that sometimes means to let them fail.
4. Plan ahead!
Anticipation is the name of the game! When your kids are little, you can not be too prepared. Pack bags and lay out clothes the night before. Why? Because when you are rushing around in the morning that it's easy to forget something. When you pack at night, you have more time to think and take your time.
5. Get a hobby.
I think that something all moms can be guilty of is not taking time to do something for themselves! Find something you enjoy and get your butt up and go do it!
Our kids need to see us have fun without them! Why? Because they will move away someday and we will be left twiddling our thumbs because we don't have any idea what to do with ourselves and because they need to see our example for when they have children someday!
What did I leave out? I'd love to hear your advice! Truly we are all in this together!
My advice:don't forget to be a wife at the same time! Kids need to see that healthy husband-wife relationship, too! :)
ReplyDeleteGood one!!!
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