The Waiting

I absolutely HATE not knowing what is next.  I am probably one of the most unorganized and scatter minded people you will meet...but I thrive on a plan.

I feel out of control and unstructured.  Just the thought of not being in control of my day-my week-my life.... makes me want to rock in a corner and sing "In The Arms Of An Angel" by Sarah Mclachlan.

What's worse!?  I fear I have passed this trait to my  eight year old son.  I guess it's genetic...




He is always asking:

"How long until we ..."

"What time do we need to ......"

"Are we doing anything today?"

"What are we doing after........"

"Then what are we going to do...."

"How many days until......"

It drives my laid back-care free husband insane!  (But that is for another blog...)


I don't like feeling unsettled.  I can not relax until I know that I am settled.

Waiting for something that is unclear and un-promised is like fingernails to a chalkboard to me.

I can see this being true in my relationships and my spiritual life too.

I WANT TO BE IN CHARGE!


The last 9 years have been a season of battling God for control.  I guess I just didn't trust that God's ways are better than my ways.

I wanted answers to my relationship and professional questions-IMMEDIATELY!

I didn't want to wait.

I didn't want to take the long way around.... I wanted the short cut!

I never wanted to learn the lesson-especially the hard ones!  Who does!?

I'd much rather just have someone who has had to learn that lesson to give me their notes...thank you very much!

But..Alas-here I am!

I am finally seeing some answers to all my "What's next?" questions.....and what I have learned is that...

the truth REALLY is.... the answers are in the waiting.  Delicious Ambiguity.