Step by Step

Our youngest daughter is in 1st grade and has been working on "First, Then, Next, Last" in school.  We like to quiz each other about how to do things around the house just to see how well she has caught on to the concept!

What I have learned is that it is not my daughter who needs help with this concept-but it's actually me who has no idea what to do first, then, next, and last in the correct order.

I am not alone! I see this all the time in the lives of my friends.

Maybe that is why I feel so normal!?

While it is true, that we can't predict every thing that will happen to us-we can make sure we have a pretty decent plan in place to make sure we are at least moving in the right direction.

I have been counting the chickens before they hatch for years!  I blame it on my emotional decision making and capacity to day dream.

Our generation is known for expecting things to happen out of order.

The Waiting

I absolutely HATE not knowing what is next.  I am probably one of the most unorganized and scatter minded people you will meet...but I thrive on a plan.

I feel out of control and unstructured.  Just the thought of not being in control of my day-my week-my life.... makes me want to rock in a corner and sing "In The Arms Of An Angel" by Sarah Mclachlan.

What's worse!?  I fear I have passed this trait to my  eight year old son.  I guess it's genetic...

Failure to Launch

A few years ago a movie came out with Matthew McConaughey and Sarah Jessica Parker  called "Failure to Launch."  Basically, McConaughey's character was a 35 year old man still living at his parents home and sleeping in the same bed as he did when he was 6 years old.

Failure to Launch.

As parents our end goal is the launch. The day we drop them off at college...or whatever direction the choose their lift off...

No-that does not make it easy OR unemotional...but, LAUNCHING is still the goal.

Does it show?

One year, for my Birthday, my parents came to town and we went to dinner at Buca di Beppo. As we were waiting on our meal, I commented that the interior decor of the restaurant reminded me of what the inside of my sister's head must look like!  (My sister is a very fun loving, exciting, bright and colorful girl, who loves a crowd and has an affinity for bright shiny objects!) We all laughed and enjoyed the rest of our time there!

If your brain were a room, what would the interior design layout look like? 

I don't know about you, but when my life is crazy, so is my house!  You can tell the kind of  day/week/month/year  that I am having by walking in my front door.

 Hear me out!

I do not need to be on the next episode of "Hoarders: Buried Alive," but I if there were a show about clutter and nothing really having a place, then I could probably occupy a 30 minute episode!

I believe this is probably true for all of us.  Sure, some of us are probably better at hiding it than others, maybe you do the exact opposite as me. Maybe when your life seems "crazy," your house is spotless, seeing housework as something you can actually control!

Those of you clean-organizing types are like aliens to me.  I believe that secretly, somewhere in your home you have a messy drawer, closet, basement, or cabinet that nobody knows about!

Those of you who are fans of the show "FRIENDS" will remember that even the neurotic, clean freak
Monica Geller had a crazy closet that she kept locked and wouldn't let anyone see.

Maybe you think, "I can't control all the chaos in my life, but I can control my house," and so that is how you  can best cope!

I have been there too! ....ish.
(You would be amazed at what giving me an hour with a container of Clorox Wipes would do for a kitchen on a stressful day!)

My husband says I need to do what he does and have "file folders" in my mind.  Just like with any file cabinet, I would be able to keep my thoughts,emotions and anything else I feel like I need to "manage" in order, by prioritizing each one in a nice and neat system.  It's easy for him.

(I picture the inside of his mind to look like one of those sparkly clean rooms in a 

"Mr. Clean" commercial.)

I am someone who will start my car and spend the next 5 minutes digging in my purse, looking for my keys.  I do most things on auto-pilot because I live my life in worrying I need to do next, rather than being in the moment and being deliberate.  Chaos paralyzes me and makes it difficult for me to know what to do first.

I need to find a way to push through my natural tendency to daydream and easily distracted by the "bright and shiny" of the world and create a system in which I can focus long enough to put things back where they belong-and not just set it somewhere-never to be seen again.

This is not to say that how you or I run our homes are right or wrong, but more a practice in doing things that are more purposeful.

I am tired of reacting to chaos in my cluttered life and desire to slow my brain down and be more intentional and calculated in my day to day things.  As much as I would love it, I am not going to wake up tomorrow and be as domestic as Martha Stewart!  It is going to take effort on my part-not just one day but every day. 

Dang.

Orange Conference 2015

The Orange Conference 2014: Highlights from Orange on Vimeo.


This is my 8th year attending The Orange Conference.  If you are a teacher, pastor, leader, parent or just plain like kids, I can not tell you how much you would benefit from this event.  I mean it.  I have attended with a group, by myself, 8 months pregnant, and as a volunteer- no excuse keeps me from Atalanta in April.  You will NOT regret it!

If you would like to go but don't know how to make it work financially-contact me in the comments and I will help you figure you something out.

What is Orange?

Catalyst 2014 Notes: CHANGE (pt 1)

Jennie Allen 
Catalyst 2014: Labs
IF: Gathering

IF: Gathering exists to gather, equip, and train a generation.

Numbers 13
Joshua
12 spies...



We {kind of} believe that God can use us for a purpose

...but there are Giants!

We {kind of} feel like a grasshopper.

We are grasshoppers and there ARE Giants ....

But-God!

We will lay down our grasshopper insecurities because..YOU.(God)

I don't want to be a generation that missed it.

Go fight the Giants! Take the land!

EVEN IF we don't think we can!

IF: Gathering Question

What could you God do in YOUR land for YOUR ppl?

{make a list}

Cute Quote:
We all think we are going to be janitors in Heaven

Mark Batterson
Catalyst 2014: Labs

Book: Grave Robber
We trust God for the BIG miracles
We need to trust him in the "little" ones.

We all want miracles-we just don't want a reason for one.

Thomas Jefferson cut out the miracles in the Bible....

What promises have you stopped believing?

How much better would you be if you would believe in a God who is bigger than your box?

Don't seek miracles
Seek Jesus

Never put a comma where God puts a period.
Never put a period where God puts a comma.

God can't bring back to life what is not dead.

Sometimes it looks like God is missing the mark bc we are too short sided of what what he is aiming for.

Maybe God is preparing you for something you haven't thought of.

Ie the Story of Lazarus.

Allow moments and space for God to show up.

Don't give up on something unless God releases you.

Exodus:
Stand still and you will
See the deliverance of the Lord

Don't Panic

If one thing doesn't die another thing can't come to life.

Be willing to look foolish
Take the risk!

Work like it depends on you
Pray like it depends on God

Andy Stanley
Catalyst 2014: Session 1

Q: who are you?
Q: what breaks your heart?

There is a correlation between leadership and change.

Great leaders make things better.
Status Quo drives leaders crazy!!!!!...

-leaders hate to see broken things continue.

Leaders don't blame.

Blame is the most effective change avoidance strategy.

Broken hearted leaders change things that go beyond their generation.

The thing that breaks your heart may be THE THING that God wants to do through you.

It is possible that what breaks yor heart is Devine Design

You have NO idea who/what hangs in the balance of your decision to embrace the burden on your heart.

Don't Fear!
Don't choose "purposeless" over fear.
Ie: don't think that you are not good enough to do whatever it is

Many years from now- what would you like for people to thank you for?

What God originates, God orchestrates.

HOW is not an issue

Who are you?
What breaks your heart?

Christine Caine
Catalyst 2014: Session 2

Change Yourself: Strengthen your core.

Love the Lord Your God with all your (core) heart, mind, and soul. Love your neighbor as yourself.

We love others as we love ourselves-we just don't love ourselves that much.

You do what you WANT in passion....
You do what you HAVE to out of obligation.

Skinny jeans and a ratio does not make you a leader.

Don't go from burn out to burn out fill yourself with Jesus.

Soul:

Our souls are damaged and it takes hard work to heal them.

We can't accelerate what takes work.

Ex. You may decide to follow Jesus and walk down the aisle to alter with cellulite on your legs but after you say amen, doesn't mean the cellulite will be gone!

You have to do the work.

We must go through the pain of recovery

We put on a good show.
(How you clean your house for guests. You hide the mess)

Same with our souls.

Same with church.
(Oh snap)

Mind.
Take control of your thoughts.
Fill them with the truth of God.

God has not given us a spirit of fear

Cancer is not terminal
Life is!
Christ is Eternal!!

If you see the devil tell him I'm
Going to bed bc God's got this!

Find HOPE in Gods Word!

SHIP Happens

There is a big difference in a Leader and a Manager. 

There. I said it.


Neither are more important than another-each have a very important role!

A Leader charts the course-they are at their best when  they are looking ahead and can see what is there.

A Manager steers the ship-they are into the details, they are at their best when they are getting things done.


In leadership, it is so important to realize what you are good at and what you are not so good at.

John Maxwell says:


 "A leader is someone who surrounds themselves with people who are smarter than they are and gets out of their way!"

Just because a leader knows the direction the ship needs to go doesn't mean they know anything about steering a ship!

Leaders need to know when they are unequipped to do something and then find someone to help who is!

The truth is, EVEN if a leader could chart the coarse AND steer the ship, they couldn't do both at the same time.  Someone has to work ON the
route and someone needs to work IN it.

A good leader understands how to ride the waves of knowing when to get out of the way and when to throw someone a life preserver.

No micromanaging!

(Side note from my soap box:  if you are a leader and you HAVE to micromanage someone on your team, then you have either: A.  made the wrong hire.  Sorry- but it's true.  Hire HIGHLY CAPABLE people. Do not settle.  OR....B. you are a control freak and nobody likes to work with you. Truth hurts.)


Here are some questions that I believe a leader should ask their managers every single year.   (Thanks for asking...) #wink

(6 months out)  Brainstorm
-What is our  mission and how are pointing people to it?
-What is working well?
-What is working BUT could work better?
-What is not working and needs to "die" so that we can do the good stuff BETTER?
-How can I help?

BIG IDEA:  What is the ONE thing that we want people to take away from us this year?



(4 months out) Dream
-What do you wish we could do?
-What is keeping us from doing it?
-What do you wish you could ask  me about our organization?
-What do you wish I would ask you about the organization?
-What are you learning about yourself?  How are you liking your job?
-Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
-How can I help?

BIG IDEA:  How do you want your team to grow together and feel about being part of the team at the end of the year?



(2 months out) Goals-What systems/programs are returning next year and how will they work better?
-Who is on your team?
-How will you achieve your goal?
-How will YOU grow yourself?
-How will you connect with your team? How do you say "THANK YOU?"
-What is your budget and how do you plan to use it?
-Have you set dates for any events or programming for next year?
-How can I help?


BIG IDEA:  What is your strategy? How are you gonna pull off your goal?

  
VISION DAY!
Cast vision to the rest of the staff  and/or  board with what your ONE main goal and strategy is for the new year.  Negotiate dates and spaces for events that overlap on the calendar. Discuss as a staff how we can support each other as a united team.



Question:    I think leaders have to be good followers-kind of like the show "The Undercover Boss" where the boss sees what it is like to work for Him.  What kind of follower are you?  What is it like to work for you?

I QUIT!

Here is a question:

Is MORE better?

In your life, what does MORE look like?

MORE.... 

work

money

volunteers

kids

friends

time

sleep

programming

furniture

books

classes

clothes

shoes

chocolate

I don't know about you but I spend a ton of time dreaming about MORE, which I am realizing means I am not content with what I HAVE.

(This is not to sound preachy... at all.)

I love MORE MORE MORE!  I am the most guilty!

Is it me, or does it feel like the MORE _____________ you get, the MORE complicated life gets.

I think this is true for everything.

When I worked for church, I thought the more classes, more events, more outings, more volunteers, and more people that we had, the better our ministries would be.

What I learned was we burned out.

We did too much.

In doing too much, we didn't do a whole lot of anything with excellence, we just did it half way-for the sake of doing it.


I was tired, my team was tired, and we didn't have the energy to do anything anymore.

I spent a lot of time talking about how PRO FAMILY I was-and the church was, but everything we did cancelled out what we said and made it seem we were actually ANTI FAMILY.

The more programming and events we offered, the more people it took to pull it off, the people (the families) who worked so hard for us, never had a chance to be home together.

We were stretching them thin, rushing their time for dinner, for homework, time to just be in the same room together.


You can fill in the blanks of what MORE has done in your own professional and personal life.

I imagine a merry go round, spinning around and around, faster and faster, then realizing that it's going too fast and you are feeling "woozy."  It's hard to get the merry go round to stop, there has been too much force and momentum building up to where you find yourself.  There are other people involved!  They might be enjoying the ride and you feel bad about wanting them to stop-so you can get off!

Sure! You can stay on the ride...  but you will end up puking all over your friends and who wants to clean that mess up?  I would rather make some people mad, than have them clean up my mess.

Simplify.  Do just ONE thing (THE MOST IMPORTANT THING) with excellence, then add something else.

TIP:
Ask yourself what the most important thing in your life is and quit everything else until you are doing that one thing with excellence.

I recently decided to do this. For the last 6 months I have stepped away from everything on my calendar.  I am not committed to doing anything.  My life has been a big ball of clutter and it was wearing me down.  I has not been easy-in fact it has been one of the most difficult things I have ever done.  I am a YES person.  I never say NO.  .........and that finally caught up to me.

I can tell you that my time looks differently and that I am finally finding time do things that I love again.

Sometimes, you just gotta rebuild yourself.

There was a book mark I had when I was in middle school that said

"THE MAIN THING IS TO KEEP THE MAIN THING, THE MAIN THING."

What is it for you?

Maybe it's your health.
So drop everything that is cluttering up your ability to focus on diet and exercise, so that you can focus on it!

Maybe it's your time-maybe you feel like your calendar is running your life.
So cancel appointments, quit signing up for things, get yourself in control of your time, THEN add to
 it.

Let's stop the glorification of more.

Currently listening to: CONSTANT

Choose YOU

13 years ago TODAY, Adam surprised me, by showing up to the daycare that I was working at, handed a pink rose to every 2 year old in my class and asked me to marry him....

I was 21 and he was 23.

Infants.

I have been thinking about the things that every young bride should know about before she gets engaged...especially since my daughters are obsessed with The 19 Kids and Counting, Duggar Daughters and their talk about Courtship and I was obsessed with the recent reality series "Married at First Sight"
I decided here has to be a happy medium between all that and what I consider "normal."


Here are just a few (some serious and some sarcastic funny) legit pointers off the top of my head (in no particular order)


1. Stop rushing.  Stop it.  I mean it... What on earth is your hurry!?!?!  Go get an apartment and live by yourself for at least a year!  Decorate it as girly as you want!
2. If you have it in your head that your marriage will look like a television show couple, I have a couple of suggestions :
* Stop. You are not ready for marriage. I mean this in the kindest way-You are delusional. Go be young! Revisit marriage in a few more years.  Those people are fictional characters who have people who literally write the words that come out of their mouths, do their hair and makeup, and you need to spend time in a real life situation.

3. Make a  monthly budget, then, each of you write out how you would spend the money-then compare them.
-What are the biggest differences in your priorities?  Talk amongst yourselves.

4. Move furniture together.
My new husband insisted on solving the Pythagorean  Theorem to decide if we should move our bed to the corner of the bedroom.

I just blinked.
Who was this nerd I traded my last name for?

5. How your guy treats his mother and sister is a good indication of how he will eventually treat you (and your future daughter/s)

Take notice.

6. In general, he should do everything you ask (with enthusiasm).

This will come in handy for pregnancy cravings and monthly sweet/salty needs-mostly.

This also includes (but not limited to)

- diet coke fountain drinks
- feminine hygiene products
- diapers
- baby formula
- printer ink
- pickles and chips
- cake
- Starbucks
- batteries
- peanuts and candy corn
- prescription and over the counter meds.


7. Once a week, sit down and compare calendars. It sounds very "business-like" but it's necessary.
Practice doing life together.  See if your priorities match up.

8. Watch carefully how he interacts with babies and small children!
This one is a biggie! It will make or break you in the middle of the night when your newborn has colic or your 2 year old has barfed all over your bed.

It's 2014, people! Dad's should be able to do anything and everything a mom can do!

I know if I dropped dead today, my husband would know exactly what to do with our kids.

Other than fix the girl's hair. He sucks at that.


9. How do they interact with YOUR family?

10. How do they interact with your friends?

11. How do they encourage you to have  your own hobbies?

12. What kind of fighter are they?

-passive?
-angry?
-shut down?
-fair?

13. What bad habits do they have that you think will change when you get married?

Stop. Go to counseling right  now.

14. Practice talking.  Be specific.  

Tell him exactly what you mean by details.
"Fine"  "Yes" "Good" "No" or any other 1 word answers are not good enough.

As a general rule of thumb, most men do not know that when you ask "How was it?" that you are really asking:

-Who was there
-What were they wearing
-Who looked the best
-Who looked the worst
-Who said what
-Did you see anyone that I know
-What did you say
-What did they say
-Did they talk about me
-What did you eat
-What did they eat
-How were the bathrooms

You know... just stuff like that.

15.  Do you generally like to be around them?

  Like, how is your actual friendship status?  I can tell you that this one will make or break you...

There will be a time, sooner than later, when you will look into the eyes of the father of your children and wonder how you could possibly murder him and not get caught...and it will be your friendship that saves him.

That, and the thought of the narrator of SNAPPED telling your story on Oxygen.
16. And finally, before you think that the romance is dead and the "honeymoon" is over...remember:

Romance is changing the gauze from a Csection because your wife can't see over her post pregnancy flab. It's going to Kroger to get sweets at 10pm because she has a sweet tooth. It's jumping in and subbing in any given kids ministry class when your wife is the kids pastor and has no other option. It's never complaining when she needs out of the house and away from the children.
It's doing the dishes every night because you know she absolutely hates it. It's never opening your mouth when your wife's side of the room is an explosion of clothes and you wonder if she will ever pick it up.
Marriage is straight up hard... you will want to give up... MANY times.  Brides magazine will not tell you any of this, because they want you to think that your wedding is just the start of a magical fairy tale life with Prince Charming.

While you are dreaming  of all that... might I encourage you to plan harder for the marriage!?  

Now go!  Be young and naive!  None of this pertains to you!  You and your new husband WILL be the ones that always have a super clean house, a bank full of money, kids that are born potty trained and never cry. Breakfast will always be in bed, and dishes will never be dirty, while fresh baked pies will always be cooling in your window. Vacations will be endless and you will wake up in the morning with minty fresh breath, a full face of make up and not a hair out of place.

Yup. (wink)

Tuesday Tip: Orange

Occasionally I will get a Facebook message or email from a friend in ministry asking my advice on how to implement ORANGE at their church.

I have had experience leading the Orange Strategy in small churches, church plants, and large churches.

Whether you have been at your church for years or weeks one thing seems to ring true in all scenarios-

I was once asked:

 "If you had all the money you ever dreamed of, in your budget, what would be the first thing you would do?"

For those who have never worked much in Children or Student ministry, you might think my answer is really boring....but the truth is...what we as leaders need the most is something that money can not buy...

What we need is passionate, equipped, empowered leaders and parents!


Listen, you could be sleeping  in a bed of money when it comes to your  ministry, but if you don't have leaders... you got nothin.

YOU CAN NOT DO IT ON YOUR OWN.

You  might say:  "But, Leslie...."

NOPE.

"But...."

 STILL NOPE.


If you want to be an ORANGE church...

You better be ready to put your money where your mouth is.

When you commit to being an ORANGE THINKER what you are saying is

WHAT HAPPENS AT HOME IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN WHAT HAPPENS AT CHURCH.

Think about it:

On average, the church, the light, YELLOW will see a child 40 hours a year

the parents, the heart, RED, will spend close to 3,000 hours with their children a year at home.

YELLOW & RED= ORANGE

What you are saying is 

2 COMBINED influences are greater than JUST TWO influences.

When you think ORANGE you are saying to parents:

 "Hey!  We got your back! We have a plan-are you in?"

How?

Well, the church can give a child a consistent small group leader, a small group of kids their own age to do life WITH, resources for parents to know what to ask their kids about during the week.

Thinking Orange will sound VERY scary to some parents...they'll be the ones that thought the church should influence their children's faith... that's why they were bringing their kids to church in the first place!  It's our job to usher parents into the assurance that they do not have to be a theologian parent and have all the answers.  NOPE.

Instead, you are elevating the parents influence by encouraging them to invite their kids to grab a seat in the front row of their life and allow them to watch them follow Jesus...

It's not scary!  It's refreshing!

Empower parents to invite their kids to  watch as God grows them.....  and in return, their kids will grow.

More is caught, than taught.


(This is true for you if you are new to faith or a life long follower of Christ.  We are ALL taking NEXT STEPS.)


Find out more about ORANGE here:  www.whatisorange.org

ALSO!

 I can not encourage you enough to get your tails up here to Indy for the ORANGE TOUR 

OCT 16-17

If you need a place to stay while you are in town... I might know a way to help with that.

Contact me at lesliegalema@me.com

p.s.s Tuesday's Jam:
Write Your Story

Stop the Train!

Simply put: A train wreck is the aftermath of a train crash.


The term often serves as a metaphor for any disaster which is large in scale and readily seen by public observers.

We all have "train wrecks" in our lives.  Sometimes we are in the middle of it and other times we are the spectators.  Although I am not sure which is worse-to be part of it or to watch it happen? Both are equally painful.


Watching a "train wreck" is difficult because you are helpless.  The people involved usually are completely unaware and by the time they figure it out-it is too late.


Damage is done.


I have been thinking a lot lately about how we, as leaders, can prevent the "train wrecks" on our teams we lead?  I don't have the right answers and don't claim to be an expert-but I wanted to share what I have been pondering..


Below are 5 ways I believe we can STOP THE TRAIN before it crashes!


1. LISTEN. If we want to lead a healthy and successful team, I believe we must be able to see outside of ourselves.  Most of the time, the way we see outside of ourselves is by getting another perspective.

What would a spectator want to tell the train conductor?

Slow down! Stop! Pay Attention!

It is easy to get comfortable with our day to day routine that we forget to pay attention! Outsiders could give us the kind of feedback that could prevent train wrecks!


2. MOVE!  Once you have received feedback about potential "danger" then MOVE!  Leaders can't just pretend there is no threat on their teams!  Leaders, we must face it and address the issue quickly.  Sometimes this means having a heart to heart with another person on your team and while believing the best in them, raise the bar of accountability and give a timeline to see results.  If you don't move-then others on your team will not only lose trust in the "weakest link" but also in you and YOUR LEADERSHIP!


3. SAY SOMETHING!  As a leader, your team knows how the train is moving. Sometimes, your team might be aware of what is going on before you do-they are waiting for you to notice.  The longer you take to acknowledge "danger" the less they will trust you.  You can not ignore the pink elephant in the room!  CALL IT OUT!  Your team wants to know that you see the problem and they also want to know that you are working on it-and that you would love to hear their ideas on the matter!



4. CALL FOR HELP!  If the problem is too big for you to handle on your own, then call in reinforcements. A neutral third party is a great way to get your team around the table and coach you in a better direction.  This is not a sign of weakness but a sign of good leadership and how much you value everyone's perspective around the table.


5. PASSANGER SAFETY.  There is a clear difference in those who are on your team and those who your team are there to serve.  As a train conductor, you can not let your ego get in the way of protecting your passengers. Those on the train don't care who stops the train-they just want the train to stop!  As a leader, you need to recognize that there will be people on your team that will question your decisions and have better ideas than you-and if your ego gets in the way, then you know who looks bad?  YOU. 


Church leaders, leading a church has nothing to do with our preference and our ego.  Like conducting a train, our job is to see that our "passengers"  reach their  final destination.

Mappin' it Out

Last weekend, I was honored to speak to our Youth at our XP service.  It was the first week of our ROADSIGNS series.


This is the message of Andy Stanley's book Principle of the Path.


(A delicious book that YOU should read....like..yesterday!)


The idea is that it is our DIRECTION not our INTENTION that leads us to our DESTINATION.


The principle of the path applies to every path, whether it's your dating life, your friends or your future.


It's ALWAYS your direction-not your intentions, not your hopes, not your dreams, not your prayers, not your beliefs-that ultimately determine your direction.

As a teenager, you might say, "I am nowhere near sure what direction I am heading...I am just here to have fun!  I will worry about my destination when I get to college!!"

True. Kind of.


The reality is, we all have an idea of where we would like to be in the future.  It looks different for the stage of life you are in..

.......but be real-we can all have the intention to do something, but until we set our feet to action, we will never get there!


I want to go to college:  but I never studied and didn't try in High School.

I want to get a job:  but I am too busy taking selfies.

I want to get married: but I keep dating ANYONE and EVERYONE and not looking for THE ONE.

I want to have a better relationship with God: but I don't pursue it.

I want to be a better friend: but I just don't have time.


Last week, I talked about Solomon, (who was  totally wise! )  and how he was trying to warn a guy from making a bad decision.

Proverbs 7: 7-27

Sometimes, we are  not open to hear what people who are older than us have to say.  "What could they possibly know? "


The truth is...
Wisdom and perspective is earned.  We earn it by living through it!


Listen to those around you-perhaps they see something that you haven't considered.  Ultimately, it's your decision, the direction you go-

Just like I said last weekend, a map is only good to us if we know where we are going!


If you don't know where you are going... any road can take you there.


Intentions are great!  The direction takes work.   Steady your heart.

YouLead

Sometimes I look at my house and the disaster our family of five made by leaving toys, dirty dishes, backpacks, laundry, and endless stacks of papers our  kids bring home from school and feel completely overwhelmed.  I see EVERYTHING there is to do around me and am paralyzed by where to start! 

Leadership can be like that at times.  Not necessarily disastrous or messy, but definitely overwhelming!  We look around and see all the things that there are to do and try, the meetings that need to be had, emails to be checked and returned, the teams to be recruited and it before ya know it, you are starring at a computer screen with absolutely no idea where to begin-much less what to say.

It's easy to feel overwhelmed and not know where to start!  If you are like me, you know the importance of developing yourself AND your team to ensure that you are aligning everyone from those you are on staff with to volunteers and parents, in such a way, that the vision of combining influences to make a GREATER impact on the next generation doesn't dull or burn out! 

The team at Orange feel the same way and they want to help leaders be the best we can be!

Join me this year in a subscription in YouLead - and say goodbye to those "stare at the computer screen" moments!
 

Developed by Orange, YouLead is designed to develop the leadership skills of yourself, your team and your volunteers. It centers on answering three basic questions: What can I do to continue learning as a leader? How can I be intentional about connecting with my volunteers consistently? What can we do to stay on the same page as a team?  Click here to learn more about a subscription to YouLead.

 

Not only that,but the folks at Orange have been generous enough to give me a discount code for $50.00 off a subscription of YouLead for those who read my blog and are interested in subscribing! The code is:  YLBLOG149Let's do this!

OrangeLeader's July Book Study

For July, I had the honor of leading a study of Brad Lomenick's  new book The Catalyst Leader for orangeleaders.com

(Brad runs Catalyst)



July Week 1

July Week 2

July Week 3

July Week 4

July Week 5

3 Things I wish I knew as a Rookie Pastor

Several years ago, I had the chance to do an internship for a dying church.  The church had lost all of their founding pastors and had gone almost 2 years without a leader. After finally hiring a Lead Pastor, a friend of mine, who attended this church knew that I was looking for an internship for college,  and asked if I would be interested in helping them out with their Kids Ministry .  I was young, inexperienced and had no idea what I was getting myself into.  I had passion and energy for Kids Ministry and lots of "great" ideas!  I went in, looked around and identified what needed to be done and immediately started making changes. While my perception of what needed to change was accurate, I learned that when those you lead do not know you, they will not trust you, no matter how great your ideas are.  The things  I learned during this season has shaped my leadership and I want to pass along with you, what I wish I had known before I started!


Leverage the "White Horse."  Something that has proven true in every church I have ever been part of is when you first join the team people treat you like their knight in shining armor, riding in on a white horse.  Everyone wants to take you out for coffee, and invite you over for dinner.  Your social calendar is packed for months!    While their intentions are meant well, what I have found is that these are the people who have the biggest expectations for you and how you will lead this ministry.  Now, if you have been in Kids Ministry longer than 10 minutes, you know that it is like pulling teeth to get your team to attend trainings or appreciation events, so this is a vital time in your ministry, while you have their attention, to share your heart and your journey with as many people who will listen-and as often as they will listen!  It has been my experience that when people know you and what you are about, trust begins to build. Focus less on what you are going to do as their leader and more on letting them get to know who you are!

Listen and Watch. The first year you are in ministry, your main goal should be to assess the situation.  Sure! You might already have an idea of the direction you are going to lead this team, but it is more important to understand how everything is structured and why.  The first year is like drinking from a fire hydrant and it is your job to soak in as much as possible.  Avoid the urge to prove yourself and implement new programming or new events.  It is not your job to prove yourself, it is your job to lead a group of people into a growing relationship with God.  You can not do that if you do not know who you are leading. Identify people who are the key influencers on your team. Find the people that everyone listens to, and get them on your side!  Build relationships with those who have most influence on your team, and cast vision to them first!  Ask for their advice, their worries, and their concerns.  Listen to them. Consider their advice.  Remember! A this point, these are people who have more influence than you do and there is a reason for it!  When it comes time to make changes, these influences will go o bat for you with the others, and it will make all the difference!

Cast Vision-Create a Culture. Once you have identified your key leaders and have worked out a strategy together, it will be time to implement.  The key to casting vision is to help your team understand WHY staying "here" is no longer an option and why moving forward is the only solution!  Paint a clear picture! Tell stories!  Give your team a clear and exciting mission and repeat it as often as possible!  Creating a new culture will take time, and while you have been working on this strategy for a year with your key influencers, your team is hearing it for the first time!  The most important part leadership strategy is your energy-if you aren't excited, nobody will be.  It will take time, don't be discouraged!  While you feel like a broken record, repeat your strategy-your team should be able to repeat it back to you!  Celebrate wins!  When you see someone on your team connect with they strategy, then AMP IT UP!  Tell everyone!  What is rewarded gets repeated!




What are some lessons, in your first years in leadership, that you had to learn the hard way?

On your mark!

I can remember when I was preparing to move away to college, wishing that I had some cool middle name that I could start going by instead of Leslie.  I pictured starting a fresh new life where nobody knew me and thinking about how awesome it would be to just start all over from scratch with some exotic name like "Alexandra."  Who would know?!  ONLY ME!
As luck should have it, my middle name is Rae and I didn't see that as a suitable name for my new alias....  so I stuck with good ol' Leslie.

There is something so exciting about starting over! When we start over we get a chance to do new things we never thought we could!  Starting over also gives us a chance to do some of the things we have always done, only better!  Starting over provides prospective and possibilities!

When I think about new leadership opportunities, it reminds me of a blank canvas. 

I am no artist, but I imagine that when an artist is looking at a blank canvas they are able to see the picture they want to paint in their head.  They see the colors they want to use, the different styles of brushes, and techniques to create the contrasts that will make that picture take life!

THIS! is the same as leadership!

Leaders see the "picture" already in their heads/hearts.  Its learning what the right steps are that makes the process challenging!

As a leader, it has always been my experience that the first step is "painting a clear picture" to your team.

You have the vision and only you can cast it! Nobody can do it for you and unless Sylvia Brown is on your team, NOBODY CAN READ YOUR MIND!

I have never seen any team leader come in and start barking orders and be able to retain any followers for longer than a year. 

John Maxwell says it like this: "People don't quit organizations, they quit people."

When your team doesn't know "the why" behind "the what," then they are not bought in!  What is a deep burning passion in your heart, is not in theirs! Why?  Because they don't know WHY they are doing WHAT they are doing!!!

When your team can see the colors, taste the tastes, smell the smells, feel the texture of your picture, they feel ownership in it and want to see it work! 

People do not feel significant until you give them something significant to do.

How are you encouraging your team?  Do they know your heart as their leader?  Do they know the WHY behind what they are doing?  Do they even know what they are supposed to be doing?

It's dangerous to assume.

It is one thing to manage a team, which is important, but it is another thing to lead them! 

Managers keep things running the same, leaders influence growth!

The Happiness Advantage

Dream jobs DO exsist!  I got the HONOR to be asked to write a month long book study of
THE HAPPINESS ADVANTAGE by Shawn Achor, for the orangeleaders.com blog!!!!

This is week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Week 4

Week 5


I will be back on orangeleaders.com blog in July to study The Catalyst Leader by Brad Lomenick --that gives you some time to order it and read along with me!

LIFE TOGETHER



There has been a lot of talk lately about making church intergenerational.  When I think of church I tend to D I VI D E everything up in in ages and stages of life. Kids go to KidsMinistry, Teenagers go to YouthGroup, and so on.  I use to roll my eyes at parents who would say "I want my kids to be in service with me so they can see me worship."

In a very snarky and under my breath tone, I would ask:

 "Well, then what are you doing all the other days of the week?" 

I won't lie, there is a part of me that is still not sure I have bought into the idea, but on the other hand, I never want to be considered unteachable or close minded.

So here is my thought.

If a church is going to be intergenerational, I think it has to go beyond having a kid take up offering, or leading a couple of songs with the worship team.  I think that being intergenerational is more than throwing a clip board with a coloring sheet and crayons to a kid so he or she has "something  to do" during the service that keeps them quiet.

I think that having kids serve is absolutely necessary, because that is what being the church is all about. 

I buy into the idea that people don't feel significant until
 you give them something significant to do!

If we serve in leadership, it is not about WHAT we do, it is about WHY we do it.


For me, Intergenerational Worship takes effort.  It is about people from all seasons of life coming together as a community and sharing life together.

LIFE TOGETHER.

It's a small group that meets in some one's home that consists of a couple in their 70s, a newly married couple, a family with teenagers, and a family with a newborn that are sharing life together.  It's telling stories, giving advice, feeling supported, by a diverse community of people that share one goal in common, to love each other like Christ loves the church.

It's a group of widows asking to come and visit a jr high girls small group and share in their lives with their stories and experiences.

Intergenerational does not mean PROGRAMMING, it means seeing a bigger picture.  It's about ending the segregation of the ages and stages of life and seeing that there is more to this life than our comfort and our desire to surround ourselves with the people we are most similar to.

If your heart is still beating, God is NOT done with you.

 Just because you have retired doesn't mean you stop being the church. Just because your kids have grown up and gone to college doesn't mean you don't have a lot of parenting advice to share.  Just because your kids are little and life is busy doesn't mean you can't ask for help. Just because you are single, doesn't mean you have nothing to offer married couples.  Just because you're young, does not mean you don't have a voice.

God uses us in every stage,when we are intergenerational we ask the question:

 "What am I doing to pour into the generation that is directly behind me?"

I think that makes us intergenerational.

I think that makes us intentional.

I think that makes us strategic.

I think it makes us THE CHURCH.

It's more than programming.  It's a lifestyle.

#gamechanger

A few years ago, when my younger brother was still in college, he very confidently announced, "Businesses have to stay relevant or die."  I had no real idea what he meant and asked him to explain and he said, "It's simple, you don't see anyone opening new pager companies these days...."

HA! Got it.

I have a lot of friends who are very leery of social media.  All this talk of Facebook and Twitter does not appeal to them.  They say things like "I don't have a twitter account, all that stuff just isn't for me."

That's fine, I guess.  I am sure that back when cars were invented people were saying the same thing.

"I don't know about all this automobile stuff...it's just not for me, I am gonna stick with riding my horse to work." 

"This cellular phone fad is just not for me" 

"I don't know what the big fuss over televisions are, it's just not for me..."

I wonder how long that lasted for them?  I think we know how that story ends.

The truth is, you don't have to embrace social  media, but the world is gonna move on without you.

Churches need to embrace that thought.

Sure, being the church means being present and connecting on a personal level.  I am not downplaying the power of face to face interaction, at all!  We need it more than ever!

..but after seeing this video, I think that means that this is a BOTH/AND scenario.

As church leaders, we tend to think that it's EITHER/OR issue when really, there is a third option.  Its not EITHER personal OR viral... its BOTH/AND.

Being relevant means we are helping others solve a problem. 

What are we helping solve by resisting social media?

The truth is, the church has a message of HOPE to share. When we embrace social media as part of our culture, HOPE GOES VIRAL.

Could this be "THE WELL" of our time?

Churches, we  can either stay relevant or die.

IT Matters.

Games, Pies and Changing

Have you ever notice that at family reunions there are certain ways that things are done only because it's the way they have always  been done?  "Uncle Ted" is in charge of games.  He has been in charge of games since 1964 and while there have been many games evolve since then, we do the games Uncle Ted does because, well, that's just how we have always done it and nobody better ever try to change it.

In my own life, a great example of this is when I was younger, our family would gather at my grandparents for Christmas Eve.  As she did every year, my great-grandmother would make several different pies.  As people would arrive, my grandmother would hug us and whisper "Don't forget to tell Mamaw Ivy that her pies were delicious..."

We all knew that even if we didn't eat a piece of pie, that Mamaw Ivy would be offended if people didn't tell her how good they were.

Church is kinda like Family Reunions.

I learned one of the most important lessons in ministry right out of the gate. I had just started an internship in a church that, in my view needed a lot of attention in the Kids Ministry department. I got the "keys" to lead and I ran with it! I started changing everything. I changed names of classes, I rearranged classrooms, I implemented a check-in system, and started recruiting volunteers.

Sounds great, right?   How could anyone NOT love all the great ideas and systems I was bringing to the table?   Here is the catch, nobody knew who in the world I was. Who did I think I was coming in and changing the way they did things?

I think what I take from that experience is that we must be sensitive to the reasons WHY things happen the way they happen in a church.  For example, before you go and paint over a mural of Noah's Ark in the nursery, honor the couple who's daughter painted it when they first built the church.

Before we change, we must gain trust and honor the people we are leading.

John Maxwell said it best: "People don't care how much you know UNTIL they know how much you care."