Responsibility

This month, my friends at 252 Basics are talking about RESPONSIBILITY!  We are lucky enough to attend a church that partners with ORANGE, which means The Galema Kids are talking about RESPONSIBILITY at church and home!

Sometimes I truly believe I am raising the most lazy human beings on the face of this planet.  To protect the guilty, I will leave names unmentioned, but I have one child who likes to hide their trash under our couch, one that never seems to flush the toilet and another that will sit on top of a pile of freshly folded laundry rather than actually take it to their room and put it away.

Those are the moments are when I feel like I am failing them.

I imagine that they will be starring in an episode of "HOARDERS: Buried Alive" in 15 years with their 64 cats, 22 birds, while collecting a 52 pound ball of dog hair that they are somehow emotionally attached to-blaming me for their lack of responsibility.

Now that my kids are school aged, I am seeing that more than ever, it is our responsibility to teach them to be adults.  As much as I want to clean up after them, I know that I will not follow them to college and cleaning their dorm rooms.  I also have to be willing to let them do it their way.

I am usually having an inner conversation with myself about choosing my battles.  

"What is the point, Leslie?  That they clean their rooms or that they clean their rooms YOUR WAY?"

I also know that my kids are watching me.  I can tell them to clean their rooms, flush the toilet, throw away their trash, and put away their clothes-but if I don't do what I am responsible for, then they can't hear my words because my actions are so loud, they can't hear what I say.

Responsibility is showing you can be trusted with what is expected of you.  

This parenting thing is not for the weary! (Although I am weary 65% of the time!) 

Teaching our children responsibility starts with us.

Crap.

Let's GO!

Currently Listening to:

Mappin' it Out

Last weekend, I was honored to speak to our Youth at our XP service.  It was the first week of our ROADSIGNS series.


This is the message of Andy Stanley's book Principle of the Path.


(A delicious book that YOU should read....like..yesterday!)


The idea is that it is our DIRECTION not our INTENTION that leads us to our DESTINATION.


The principle of the path applies to every path, whether it's your dating life, your friends or your future.


It's ALWAYS your direction-not your intentions, not your hopes, not your dreams, not your prayers, not your beliefs-that ultimately determine your direction.

As a teenager, you might say, "I am nowhere near sure what direction I am heading...I am just here to have fun!  I will worry about my destination when I get to college!!"

True. Kind of.


The reality is, we all have an idea of where we would like to be in the future.  It looks different for the stage of life you are in..

.......but be real-we can all have the intention to do something, but until we set our feet to action, we will never get there!


I want to go to college:  but I never studied and didn't try in High School.

I want to get a job:  but I am too busy taking selfies.

I want to get married: but I keep dating ANYONE and EVERYONE and not looking for THE ONE.

I want to have a better relationship with God: but I don't pursue it.

I want to be a better friend: but I just don't have time.


Last week, I talked about Solomon, (who was  totally wise! )  and how he was trying to warn a guy from making a bad decision.

Proverbs 7: 7-27

Sometimes, we are  not open to hear what people who are older than us have to say.  "What could they possibly know? "


The truth is...
Wisdom and perspective is earned.  We earn it by living through it!


Listen to those around you-perhaps they see something that you haven't considered.  Ultimately, it's your decision, the direction you go-

Just like I said last weekend, a map is only good to us if we know where we are going!


If you don't know where you are going... any road can take you there.


Intentions are great!  The direction takes work.   Steady your heart.

3 Things I wish I knew as a Rookie Pastor

Several years ago, I had the chance to do an internship for a dying church.  The church had lost all of their founding pastors and had gone almost 2 years without a leader. After finally hiring a Lead Pastor, a friend of mine, who attended this church knew that I was looking for an internship for college,  and asked if I would be interested in helping them out with their Kids Ministry .  I was young, inexperienced and had no idea what I was getting myself into.  I had passion and energy for Kids Ministry and lots of "great" ideas!  I went in, looked around and identified what needed to be done and immediately started making changes. While my perception of what needed to change was accurate, I learned that when those you lead do not know you, they will not trust you, no matter how great your ideas are.  The things  I learned during this season has shaped my leadership and I want to pass along with you, what I wish I had known before I started!


Leverage the "White Horse."  Something that has proven true in every church I have ever been part of is when you first join the team people treat you like their knight in shining armor, riding in on a white horse.  Everyone wants to take you out for coffee, and invite you over for dinner.  Your social calendar is packed for months!    While their intentions are meant well, what I have found is that these are the people who have the biggest expectations for you and how you will lead this ministry.  Now, if you have been in Kids Ministry longer than 10 minutes, you know that it is like pulling teeth to get your team to attend trainings or appreciation events, so this is a vital time in your ministry, while you have their attention, to share your heart and your journey with as many people who will listen-and as often as they will listen!  It has been my experience that when people know you and what you are about, trust begins to build. Focus less on what you are going to do as their leader and more on letting them get to know who you are!

Listen and Watch. The first year you are in ministry, your main goal should be to assess the situation.  Sure! You might already have an idea of the direction you are going to lead this team, but it is more important to understand how everything is structured and why.  The first year is like drinking from a fire hydrant and it is your job to soak in as much as possible.  Avoid the urge to prove yourself and implement new programming or new events.  It is not your job to prove yourself, it is your job to lead a group of people into a growing relationship with God.  You can not do that if you do not know who you are leading. Identify people who are the key influencers on your team. Find the people that everyone listens to, and get them on your side!  Build relationships with those who have most influence on your team, and cast vision to them first!  Ask for their advice, their worries, and their concerns.  Listen to them. Consider their advice.  Remember! A this point, these are people who have more influence than you do and there is a reason for it!  When it comes time to make changes, these influences will go o bat for you with the others, and it will make all the difference!

Cast Vision-Create a Culture. Once you have identified your key leaders and have worked out a strategy together, it will be time to implement.  The key to casting vision is to help your team understand WHY staying "here" is no longer an option and why moving forward is the only solution!  Paint a clear picture! Tell stories!  Give your team a clear and exciting mission and repeat it as often as possible!  Creating a new culture will take time, and while you have been working on this strategy for a year with your key influencers, your team is hearing it for the first time!  The most important part leadership strategy is your energy-if you aren't excited, nobody will be.  It will take time, don't be discouraged!  While you feel like a broken record, repeat your strategy-your team should be able to repeat it back to you!  Celebrate wins!  When you see someone on your team connect with they strategy, then AMP IT UP!  Tell everyone!  What is rewarded gets repeated!




What are some lessons, in your first years in leadership, that you had to learn the hard way?

What's Gonna Work?

I was a child once, I have 3 children of my own, I have been around children all of my life, and it seems that we are primed for teamwork at a very young age. When we are just toddlers we are told to take turns, to share, to cooporate, to listen, to "use our words," to follow the rules, to consider others feelings, and that there are consequences to all of our choices. 

The best example of team work I have ever been part of, happened 3 years ago and all i could do is watch. 

I was in the hospital, in labor with our youngest child.  By all accounts the labor was running smoothly and consistent with my last 2 deliveries.

The doctor came in to break my water, and when she did, the umbilical cord, came out.  To all of our surprise, we had an emergancy on our hands.  (The umbilical cord is a life line to the baby, if it is cut off, the oxygen is cut off.)  This is called a Prolapsed Cord.

Instantly, my doctor was on the bed with me,  she began talking softly and camly, explaining exactly what was happening-she told me that she had to keep her hand on the baby's head as to keep it from cutting off the oxygen for the baby.  My doctor told me to keep my eyes on her and to stay calm. (yeah, right)

The nurse  who had been taking care of me had already jumped into action.  I was moved onto another bed (along with the doctor who was attached to me) and being wheeled to the O.R. very quickly.  Everything seemed so fast paced that I couldn't process what was happening quick enough. 

The nurse was yelling orders to the team of other nurses as they were rushing around prepping for my c-section.

I noticed that my nurse was THE ONLY ONE speaking.  My doctor was with me on the bed, and looking at my face, she only spoke to me calmly and quietly.  The nurse seemed rushed and anxious but TOTALLY in charge.

We arrived in the O.R. and the anaesthesiologist greeted me, keeping his voice soft and calm.  He told me what was happening and held my hand. 

After what seemed like 15 seconds, my doctor was off the bed, hands washed, gloves on, medical apron on, hair in ponytail and cutting me open to save my littlest one.

I remember thinking "She was just "elbow deep" holding my baby's head in place and now she is cutting me open-not to mention wearing a ponytail!" 

I blinked a couple of times and our baby was born!

A tiny and sweet little girl. Healthy.

11 minutes from the time my doctor has broken my water.

Leadership lesson?


Take initiative.  See what needs done and do it! Had the nurses waited for the doctor to bark orders we might not have had a better outcome.  The nurses knew that the doctor was concerned about ME and that they had to do the grunt work.

The doctor and the nurses knew the seriousness of the situation, she also knew that if I (the patient) saw her panic that things could get worse.

That day, nobody worried about who was most qualified, or who was in charge, or how they appeared to others.  Ego was nowhere to be found. 

While the doctor was assuring me, the nurses took charge and made things happen!  From the moving me to another bed to the Doctor's ponytail, this was a team that worked together and had the same END in MIND.

Safety and wellbeing of Patient and child.

Job well done.


It is amazing what we can do when it doesn't matter who gets the credit.