Put Up Your Dukes!

We have all heard the phrase "choose your battle."  When we choose our battle, we decide what is worth the effort, what is worth the work, what is worth the fight.

I can remember when our oldest was a toddler and she was learning to pick up her toys, I liked having everything in order.  Toys  went in one tub, dolls in another, books on the shelf, and so on.  When our helpful little toddler would pick up her toys she would just throw any toy in any tub with no rhyme or reason.  My eyelid would twitch as she did everything out of order. One day, it hit me like a brick wall! 

"What is more important?  That she picks the toys up by herself, or that she does it the way I want?"

Reality check:  The key was that she was cleaning up her room BY HER SELF!

So I had to choose my battle.

I once heard that there are 2 kinds of parents.  Grace Parents and Truth Parents.

Grace parents are the ones that bake cookies or always have time to order a pizza for all their kid's friends. If you push them on an issue like bonus allowance or getting that extra 30 minutes of TV time, they’ll usually bend. If they have something difficult to say, well, they might not say it at all, and if they do, they might speak it so gently you hardly heard the issue when it was finally raised. They smile a lot. They are always, so stinking nice.

Truth parents are "by the book" types. Facts are facts and rules and rules. If bed time is 7:30, it’s 7:30 – why would you even ask for an extension? And the kids (especially teens) should fully understand everything the Bible says because obedience matters. The truth may not be pretty, but someone needs to stand up for it, say what needs to be said and do what needs to be done. Jesus said if you love God, you’ll obey him. So obey. (THE FIRST TIME!)


I am not suggesting that we become push over parents so that our kids can have whatever they want in life OR that we should be as military as possible so our kids never get out of line.
I am just taking a cue from John 1:14 that Jesus came ‘full of grace and truth’. Grace and truth. Not grace or truth. But both. Together. Grace and truth.

I feel like should have this written and hung in every room in my house to remind me.  Jesus lived this one out. He never spoke the truth apart from grace, and never spoke grace that lined up with truth.

So here’s the challenge this week: as you interact in your family:

• Speak the truth with grace
• Speak grace with truth.

For me, this means, I might have to take a minute and think before I speak in anger, or when I’m tempted to simply be nice in a way that’s void of truth, I’ll also pause and reframe.

Our battle is the shape of our kid's heart.  The WHO not the WHAT they become.  The reality is the WHO shapes the WHAT!

Truth and Grace.

Fight for the Heart.