Focus on the END

Do you want to know what is pretty chaotic and completely unpredictable?  Parenting.

Think about it! When we buy a microwave, we get an instruction manual.  We buy a computer, we get an instruction manual. Get this!  Even poptarts come with instructions!

At some point in every parent's life they are given this tiny little human and hurried off on their merry way with absolutely NO IDEA what to do with them.

Something I have noticed is that with each stage of our kids life, there is this ultimate milestone we are trying to achieve.  With a newborn our goal is sleeping through the night and getting them on a feeding schedule, then on to rolling over, sitting up, crawling, holding their bottles, and walking.  With a toddler our goal is eating solid food, sippy cups, and potty training. Preschool is all about getting along with others, sharing, and taking turns.  Elementary school is about reading and writing
 making friends...

....I think you get the picture. 

The point is, there is always something we are working toward.  I know there are times in my own parenting where I am struggling  to get to that next milestone, just trying to survive!

A few years ago, I was at The Orange Conference in Atlanta, GA, and heard a very wise illustration that changed how I have seen parenting and even how I do ministry. We were challenged to see parenting NOT as raising kids, but as raising adults!

What a concept!

I can remember very vividly when I was learning to drive.  I had Driver's Ed. with a police officer and he had me drive in and out of orange cones in the high school parking lot to practice my steering skills.  I did pretty well on the first 2 or 3 turns but somewhere around turn 4 I began driving over and hitting cones.  I couldn't figure out why I was messing up so badly.

The police officer laughed at me and pointed out that I was too focused on what was coming up next and needed to focus on the END and use my peripheral vision for the turns.

Is it me, or does that seem a lot like parenting?  We get so busy looking at what is next that we lose focus of the big picture!  As our kids get older we start to worry about WHAT they will be involved in and WHAT college they will choose, and WHAT profession they will be in-  which is all valid but maybe we should ask ourselves WHO they will be as they grow!

What if we started raising our kids with WHO they would be as adults in mind?

If a mission is only as good as its strategy then what is your mission as a parent? When you drop them off at college someday, and drive away, WHO will you be leaving?

Who do we want our kids to be?

Personally, I want my kids to be compassionate, loving, independent and trustworthy.  I want them to be a good friend, a good spouse, and a good parent. I want them to laugh and not sweat the small stuff!   I want them to have a heart for serving others.  I want them to recognize where they are gifted and use their gifts for God's glory!

If I want this for my children, everything I do in raising them should point to helping them become just that!

It's our job to lead our kids.  It's our  job to be examples and have a plan of action!  It's a worthy cause and not for the weary!


HOMEWORK:
What is your family mission statement?  What are you about?  How do you let your kids know what it means to be in your family.  Do you ever talk to them about the kind of person you want them to be when they are grown?

Would that change how you do things around your home? 

I say we make a sign with our mission statement and hang it where everyone can see it as a reminder of WHO WE ARE!


Focus on the END.


ALSO: Check out www.orangeparents.org
and read THIS BOOK