Then What?

You guys. I want to be in charge. I want to be the boss.  I want to know what is next.  I want to fix your problems and mine.

I have trouble just listening to your "problems."  I want to fix them.

I know that you don't want me to.

...But why else would you be telling me?  You obviously want me to fix your life.  Duh.

Where did I learn that?

When did I start believing that I needed to be in control? What happened to me that I started to believe that God couldn't handle our stuff?

Are you like that?  Are you a bossy pants like me?

Do you know what else?  I am impatient!  I can't just wait on answer- I need it NOW!  If something needs to be done then, for goodness sake, get. up. and do it. NOW! 

MOVE! Get in a hurry!  GO!

Are you starting to understand my relationship with God yet?  

I think my ways are better than God's.  I wouldn't just have a shirt made that said that... No!  Of course not!  I disguise it by sipping coffee and listening to Lauren Daigle with the stress level as a Jamaican bobsledder. NO PROBLEM.

I can sure play the part....but on the inside I am nearly spastic, waiting on God to do what I want Him to do!

You know what I am really scared of?  If I am not holding on to the "wheel" of this life then I am gonna crash.  Unlike Carrie Underwood, I can't easily give Jesus the wheel.  That is scary!  What if God doesn't do what I want him to?  Then what?

What if God doesn't give us what we want?

What will happen to us?  I had an amazing counselor who used to ask me "then what" questions about the things I was scared of.

What if I get hurt?  ....then what?
What if I don't get the job?  ....then what?
What if they hate me?  ...then what?

The truth is that the answer to all of our "THEN WHAT" questions lead us to: "It will be ok. I will be ok."


I am not saying I have this all figured out and I suspect this will be a life long struggle for my control freak nature...but I want to make every effort to let go and trust God.