Who the HECK are YOU?

The 5th grade was a big year for me. I was 11 years old and finally in my last year of elementary school! To say I had entered my awkward stage would be an understatement.  I  was tall enough to be wearing my mother’s clothes and shoes, I wore deodorant, and while the rest of the girls my age were carrying barbie backpacks, I was carrying one of my mom's old purses stashed with maxi pads.  Let's face it-there is no real way to be descrete about that-espeically when you are still in elementary school.

So began a long journey of insecurity. All girls go through it-not all in the same ways, but there is a light switch that goes off in all of our minds that tells us “different is ugly” so we need to do whatever we can to hide who we really are to be whatever it is everyone else is…

I spent all of my teenage years desperately modeling the older and popular girls, making sure I did exactly what they did to fit in, to be normal, to be pretty! I got very good at being what everyone wanted me to be and by senior year of high school-I was the master.

I had made it! I was popular!

I had met every goal I had set for myself as an awkward 11 year old girl carrying her mom’s purse to recess. I was a cheerleader. I dated an athlete. I went to all the dances-with dates. I even made the homecoming court.

The world was as it should be!

By college, I found myself 4 hours away from home and that absolutely nothing I had worked all those years for , mattered to anyone at Anderson University.

I spent a lot of years making my identity what everyone expected me to be and in return had no idea who I really was!

I got married at 21 years old and spent the rest of my 20’s pregnant and sleep deprived. My identity was being at home with my babies. While I found that very fulfilling, I never lost that hole in my heart that I didn’t know who I was or what I was here for....

 Why do we spend so much time thinking about the
“if only’s” in our life?


 “If only I had taken that job…. If only I had went to college…If only I were married…If only I had children….If only I were single.…If only I had this car paid off…If only I was thinner…..if only I could stay focused…if only I had my masters.... MY LIFE WOULD BE BETTER!”

Who taught us that?

I think we taught ourselves.
What if we started practicing being OK with who the heck we are!?

What if we got really comfortable with the

 “even thoughs?”

I am beautiful, I am smart, I am ME…..even though…I didn’t go to college…I didn’t get that job…my friends betrayed me…even though I don’t have my masters…even though I am single…even though it sometimes feels like I h ave 1300 children and drive a mini van.

I am me and who I am will constantly be evolving and growing and I am happy and comfortable with that!

"Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is You-er than You."
-Dr. Suess

LIFE TOGETHER



There has been a lot of talk lately about making church intergenerational.  When I think of church I tend to D I VI D E everything up in in ages and stages of life. Kids go to KidsMinistry, Teenagers go to YouthGroup, and so on.  I use to roll my eyes at parents who would say "I want my kids to be in service with me so they can see me worship."

In a very snarky and under my breath tone, I would ask:

 "Well, then what are you doing all the other days of the week?" 

I won't lie, there is a part of me that is still not sure I have bought into the idea, but on the other hand, I never want to be considered unteachable or close minded.

So here is my thought.

If a church is going to be intergenerational, I think it has to go beyond having a kid take up offering, or leading a couple of songs with the worship team.  I think that being intergenerational is more than throwing a clip board with a coloring sheet and crayons to a kid so he or she has "something  to do" during the service that keeps them quiet.

I think that having kids serve is absolutely necessary, because that is what being the church is all about. 

I buy into the idea that people don't feel significant until
 you give them something significant to do!

If we serve in leadership, it is not about WHAT we do, it is about WHY we do it.


For me, Intergenerational Worship takes effort.  It is about people from all seasons of life coming together as a community and sharing life together.

LIFE TOGETHER.

It's a small group that meets in some one's home that consists of a couple in their 70s, a newly married couple, a family with teenagers, and a family with a newborn that are sharing life together.  It's telling stories, giving advice, feeling supported, by a diverse community of people that share one goal in common, to love each other like Christ loves the church.

It's a group of widows asking to come and visit a jr high girls small group and share in their lives with their stories and experiences.

Intergenerational does not mean PROGRAMMING, it means seeing a bigger picture.  It's about ending the segregation of the ages and stages of life and seeing that there is more to this life than our comfort and our desire to surround ourselves with the people we are most similar to.

If your heart is still beating, God is NOT done with you.

 Just because you have retired doesn't mean you stop being the church. Just because your kids have grown up and gone to college doesn't mean you don't have a lot of parenting advice to share.  Just because your kids are little and life is busy doesn't mean you can't ask for help. Just because you are single, doesn't mean you have nothing to offer married couples.  Just because you're young, does not mean you don't have a voice.

God uses us in every stage,when we are intergenerational we ask the question:

 "What am I doing to pour into the generation that is directly behind me?"

I think that makes us intergenerational.

I think that makes us intentional.

I think that makes us strategic.

I think it makes us THE CHURCH.

It's more than programming.  It's a lifestyle.

Time keeps on slippin...

Connecting, Devoting, Engaging OH MY! With all this talk of this  the go.love.life, I  think I am beginning to break a sweat! Don't get me wrong here, I believe in this mission...I am just baffled at when I am going to fit it all in my schedule!

My husband and I have been married for 10 years and have 3 small-ish children.  We moved into our new home  just 2 days before our oldest 2 kids started school in their new school!  Our life feels like it is running us instead of us running it!

There is nothing more discouraging after hearing the white hot vision for where God is leading us at Church at the Crossing to CONNECT with God and others, DEVOTE to The Word and to prayer and ENGAGE in our community and world, and think to yourself ..
"Ain't nobody got time for that!"

I. DON'T. HAVE. TIME.

I don't have time to meet new friends, I don't have time for the friends I do have!  I can't connect with God, I can't even connect with my husband! When will I have a second to devote to prayer and Bible Study?  The only thing I have time to read are the magazine covers in the checkout line at Kroger!  Engage?  WHEN?  When will I be able to serve in a ministry or go on a trip out of the country,  I haven't left my house in days!

Then it hit me.

While yes, it is true, I don't HAVE time to do much of anything, the real issue is that I have failed to MAKE time.

MY TIME IS MY TREASURE!
 In Matthew, chapter 6:21 (The Message) it says:
"The place where your treasure is, is the place you will most want to be, and end up being."

I hoard my time..I hold it tight with clenched hands, instead, I need to open my hands, palms up and let God HAVE it!

I guess my NEXT STEP is to STOP making excuses and stop the glorification of BUSY and DEVOTE. I need to devote my time and my life to God and His Word!  I need to repriortize my TIME..and instead make it God's time!

I have not been a good steward of my time.

If I want my kids to know what it IS to BE the Church, then I must turn the mirror to look at myself.

In ministry and as Christians, we are in the people busines. 

Sometimes, people can't HEAR what we are saying because what we are DOING is too loud!

More is caught than taught. 

go.love.

#gamechanger

A few years ago, when my younger brother was still in college, he very confidently announced, "Businesses have to stay relevant or die."  I had no real idea what he meant and asked him to explain and he said, "It's simple, you don't see anyone opening new pager companies these days...."

HA! Got it.

I have a lot of friends who are very leery of social media.  All this talk of Facebook and Twitter does not appeal to them.  They say things like "I don't have a twitter account, all that stuff just isn't for me."

That's fine, I guess.  I am sure that back when cars were invented people were saying the same thing.

"I don't know about all this automobile stuff...it's just not for me, I am gonna stick with riding my horse to work." 

"This cellular phone fad is just not for me" 

"I don't know what the big fuss over televisions are, it's just not for me..."

I wonder how long that lasted for them?  I think we know how that story ends.

The truth is, you don't have to embrace social  media, but the world is gonna move on without you.

Churches need to embrace that thought.

Sure, being the church means being present and connecting on a personal level.  I am not downplaying the power of face to face interaction, at all!  We need it more than ever!

..but after seeing this video, I think that means that this is a BOTH/AND scenario.

As church leaders, we tend to think that it's EITHER/OR issue when really, there is a third option.  Its not EITHER personal OR viral... its BOTH/AND.

Being relevant means we are helping others solve a problem. 

What are we helping solve by resisting social media?

The truth is, the church has a message of HOPE to share. When we embrace social media as part of our culture, HOPE GOES VIRAL.

Could this be "THE WELL" of our time?

Churches, we  can either stay relevant or die.

IT Matters.

Games, Pies and Changing

Have you ever notice that at family reunions there are certain ways that things are done only because it's the way they have always  been done?  "Uncle Ted" is in charge of games.  He has been in charge of games since 1964 and while there have been many games evolve since then, we do the games Uncle Ted does because, well, that's just how we have always done it and nobody better ever try to change it.

In my own life, a great example of this is when I was younger, our family would gather at my grandparents for Christmas Eve.  As she did every year, my great-grandmother would make several different pies.  As people would arrive, my grandmother would hug us and whisper "Don't forget to tell Mamaw Ivy that her pies were delicious..."

We all knew that even if we didn't eat a piece of pie, that Mamaw Ivy would be offended if people didn't tell her how good they were.

Church is kinda like Family Reunions.

I learned one of the most important lessons in ministry right out of the gate. I had just started an internship in a church that, in my view needed a lot of attention in the Kids Ministry department. I got the "keys" to lead and I ran with it! I started changing everything. I changed names of classes, I rearranged classrooms, I implemented a check-in system, and started recruiting volunteers.

Sounds great, right?   How could anyone NOT love all the great ideas and systems I was bringing to the table?   Here is the catch, nobody knew who in the world I was. Who did I think I was coming in and changing the way they did things?

I think what I take from that experience is that we must be sensitive to the reasons WHY things happen the way they happen in a church.  For example, before you go and paint over a mural of Noah's Ark in the nursery, honor the couple who's daughter painted it when they first built the church.

Before we change, we must gain trust and honor the people we are leading.

John Maxwell said it best: "People don't care how much you know UNTIL they know how much you care."