I am about to open a can of worms!
Here is the thing-I NEVER write about anything controversial. Mostly because I never want to make anyone mad and by not giving my opinion I keep you happy. I am willing to risk your happiness with me for this-at least I think I am.
Social Media and Parenting.
Not too long ago I spoke with our Youth Group about Social Media and how we use it, matters.
Not too long ago I spoke with our Youth Group about Social Media and how we use it, matters.
For the first time in history of parenting, we are being lead by our children in the topic of technology and social media. We have all seen the commercial with Katie Couric and Bryant Gumble in 1994 hosting the Today Show asking:
"What is the internet?"
It's funny now, but then, it was a mystery! You guys, 21 years ago....the hosts of The Today Show had no idea what the internet was!
16 years ago, I was a senior in high school and I would have to wait until my dad got home from work to check my email because I had no idea how to do it!
10 years ago I heard about MySpace but thought it was for teenagers ONLY.
8 years ago, Adam and I shared a cell phone, that we never used. I still used our land line phone!
6 years ago, my sister insisted that I get a "flip phone" phone so I could text. Until then, I had never sent a text in my life.
4 years ago, I got my first iphone.
Social Media is not a fad, it is here to stay. The way we use it will change, yes! It already is changing! I can't keep up-but I sure am trying!
Friends, we have to stop hiding from what we don't understand. Why? Because while we are trying to hold on to the way things use to be, our kids are moving on at rapid speed!
Our kids are 11, 8, and 5 years old. Our 5 year old knew how to work my iphone before she was a year old. She was 1 when she first knew about an iphone, I was 30 years old. The way our kids see technology is D I F F E R E N T than the way we do.
When we moved into our house, there was an old landline phone attached the wall. My oldest daughter saw it and said "What is that!?" She had no idea! gulp.
The internet and cell phones are just normal to our kids. They can not believe that there was a time when there was no internet and there were no cell phones. It is the same way that we think of days before telephone, television, radio, movies, and even cars!
I think that it freaks us out, as parents and any of us who work with kids on a regular basis that our kids are leading us in this way! They know more about it than we do.
So we tend to resist it. We restrict our kids from what we don't understand because we think we have to be experts at it before we let our kids do it! We choose to protect our kids by not letting them take part in it.
On the flip side, their are also parents that allow their kids to do whatever they want with a cell phone and on the internet with no accountability choosing ignorance as bliss.
I am begging you to choose the BOTH/AND approach.
We should be careful, as parents! Absolutely! You SHOULD be worried-it IS a scary world!
BUT! We are going to drop our kids off at college one day, and when we drive away...we can not protect them anymore.
Dang.
So let's prepare them while we are still in charge!
Here are my tips for Parenting and Social Media
*Talk about your worries! Admit you don't understand! (spoiler alert: your kids already know!)
*Come up with rules! Boundaries are important! SET THEM! Write them out! Don't know where to start? Here is a great example.
*Have all their apps synced to your phone-you SHOULD know what they are doing. Also I think it is fair to have all their passwords to their accounts. You may never use them..but they do not have to know that. They do not need that much privacy-why not? ..beacuase they are kids! YOU pay for that phone and computer so if your kids have a problem with your rules then they don't have to have YOUR COMPUTER or YOUR PHONE! YOU ARE THE BOSS!
*Don't comment on your kid's stuff. Play it cool. If you see something that you don't like-confront your child in private at home. Do not shame them publically. If they are not using it appropriately then shut it down. Social media is a privilege NOT a right.
*Get a mentor for yourself! Find a parent of a child who is 3-5 years older than your kids. Ask them for advice! Also! It might be a good idea to find a college kid that you trust to ask questions and to help you understand social media culture!
*Get your own account! IF your kids have Facebook, then YOU have Facebook. WATCH! Learn about how it works! There are youtube videos that teach you! GO! Learn! Don't turn a blind eye!
My trusted Social Media Guru's:
Jon Acuff
Carlos Whittaker
Orange: Parent Cue
*Don't be naïve. Yes, you can set your child's accounts to EXTREME privacy-but you can't control what they might see from their friends.... Our kids hear and see things on the school bus and at school that we can not protect them from... that is life! GET IN THE GAME! Our kids get their cues on how they react to things by how WE react to them. Let's prepare our kids!
It's our job to teach our kids how to make wise choices... It's our job to teach them how to be grown ups.
Don't be afraid-be present.
BUT! We are going to drop our kids off at college one day, and when we drive away...we can not protect them anymore.
Dang.
So let's prepare them while we are still in charge!
Here are my tips for Parenting and Social Media
*Talk about your worries! Admit you don't understand! (spoiler alert: your kids already know!)
*Come up with rules! Boundaries are important! SET THEM! Write them out! Don't know where to start? Here is a great example.
*Have all their apps synced to your phone-you SHOULD know what they are doing. Also I think it is fair to have all their passwords to their accounts. You may never use them..but they do not have to know that. They do not need that much privacy-why not? ..beacuase they are kids! YOU pay for that phone and computer so if your kids have a problem with your rules then they don't have to have YOUR COMPUTER or YOUR PHONE! YOU ARE THE BOSS!
*Don't comment on your kid's stuff. Play it cool. If you see something that you don't like-confront your child in private at home. Do not shame them publically. If they are not using it appropriately then shut it down. Social media is a privilege NOT a right.
*Get a mentor for yourself! Find a parent of a child who is 3-5 years older than your kids. Ask them for advice! Also! It might be a good idea to find a college kid that you trust to ask questions and to help you understand social media culture!
*Get your own account! IF your kids have Facebook, then YOU have Facebook. WATCH! Learn about how it works! There are youtube videos that teach you! GO! Learn! Don't turn a blind eye!
My trusted Social Media Guru's:
Jon Acuff
Carlos Whittaker
Orange: Parent Cue
*Don't be naïve. Yes, you can set your child's accounts to EXTREME privacy-but you can't control what they might see from their friends.... Our kids hear and see things on the school bus and at school that we can not protect them from... that is life! GET IN THE GAME! Our kids get their cues on how they react to things by how WE react to them. Let's prepare our kids!
It's our job to teach our kids how to make wise choices... It's our job to teach them how to be grown ups.
Don't be afraid-be present.
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