Fear and Stuff

Preface: I am experiencing writer's block and have been encouraged to use "prompts" to get my creative juices going.


What am I afraid of?

Mice.
Drowning.
Getting pregnant.
and....people who do not like me.

If I feel like someone doesn't like me, I shut down. I just want to hide and throw myself a pitty party.

I haven't figured out why I do this.

I have always admired those folks that could express themselves and not care what people thought of them.

Me? Well, I tend to ugly cry, eat bread and lose sleep over what I could have done to make them like me. I rehearse conversations and scenarios in my mind of what I would like to say to that person.  Sometimes I charm them with my humor and win them over....other times, I lose what little filter I have and tell them exactly what I think.

Neither scenario ever makes me feel better afterword.

 The truth is I get wrapped up in those who don't like me because I don't like me.

I know who I am. Good stuff and bad stuff.  I am not proud of the bad stuff...and those who don't like me only see me for the bad stuff.

I am afraid of liking myself.

It's not about the "haters."

Its about me.


Fear paralyzes us and we have a choice!  We can look our fears straight in the face or we can hide.

What I have learned is that when we hide, we can't move forward.
We are just stuck, sittin' in our own "filth"  and nobody can rescue us but us.

I don't want my head to be so full of fear that I have no room to dream.
Dreaming is what I do-it's my thing.  When I am busy being afraid......I can't do my thing.

I need to get real good and busy being the best me I can be and have enough self awareness to know when I am being a real "toot" so that I don't miss reality. Reality is deciding that you and I are not the victim of our life circumstances.

Reality is knowing perfection is not the goal,  and restoration is. It's not a race, but a marathon.

Orange Leaders: NOVEMBER Book Study

                                                                                                                           (Picture from orangeparents.org)

 

 

Join me at orangeleaders.com this month as we study "Playing for Keeps" and "Losing Your Marbles" by Reggie Joiner, Kristen Ivy, and Elizabeth Hansen

Week 1

Week 2
Week 3

Week 4

The Slow Fade: Moving the Line

High School Graduation, 1999

Join me this month on orangeleaders.com as I write a 4 week study of

The Slow Fade by Reggie Joiner, Church Bomar, & Abbie Smith 




Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Week 4

YouLead

Sometimes I look at my house and the disaster our family of five made by leaving toys, dirty dishes, backpacks, laundry, and endless stacks of papers our  kids bring home from school and feel completely overwhelmed.  I see EVERYTHING there is to do around me and am paralyzed by where to start! 

Leadership can be like that at times.  Not necessarily disastrous or messy, but definitely overwhelming!  We look around and see all the things that there are to do and try, the meetings that need to be had, emails to be checked and returned, the teams to be recruited and it before ya know it, you are starring at a computer screen with absolutely no idea where to begin-much less what to say.

It's easy to feel overwhelmed and not know where to start!  If you are like me, you know the importance of developing yourself AND your team to ensure that you are aligning everyone from those you are on staff with to volunteers and parents, in such a way, that the vision of combining influences to make a GREATER impact on the next generation doesn't dull or burn out! 

The team at Orange feel the same way and they want to help leaders be the best we can be!

Join me this year in a subscription in YouLead - and say goodbye to those "stare at the computer screen" moments!
 

Developed by Orange, YouLead is designed to develop the leadership skills of yourself, your team and your volunteers. It centers on answering three basic questions: What can I do to continue learning as a leader? How can I be intentional about connecting with my volunteers consistently? What can we do to stay on the same page as a team?  Click here to learn more about a subscription to YouLead.

 

Not only that,but the folks at Orange have been generous enough to give me a discount code for $50.00 off a subscription of YouLead for those who read my blog and are interested in subscribing! The code is:  YLBLOG149Let's do this!

OrangeLeader's July Book Study

For July, I had the honor of leading a study of Brad Lomenick's  new book The Catalyst Leader for orangeleaders.com

(Brad runs Catalyst)



July Week 1

July Week 2

July Week 3

July Week 4

July Week 5

3 Things I wish I knew as a Rookie Pastor

Several years ago, I had the chance to do an internship for a dying church.  The church had lost all of their founding pastors and had gone almost 2 years without a leader. After finally hiring a Lead Pastor, a friend of mine, who attended this church knew that I was looking for an internship for college,  and asked if I would be interested in helping them out with their Kids Ministry .  I was young, inexperienced and had no idea what I was getting myself into.  I had passion and energy for Kids Ministry and lots of "great" ideas!  I went in, looked around and identified what needed to be done and immediately started making changes. While my perception of what needed to change was accurate, I learned that when those you lead do not know you, they will not trust you, no matter how great your ideas are.  The things  I learned during this season has shaped my leadership and I want to pass along with you, what I wish I had known before I started!


Leverage the "White Horse."  Something that has proven true in every church I have ever been part of is when you first join the team people treat you like their knight in shining armor, riding in on a white horse.  Everyone wants to take you out for coffee, and invite you over for dinner.  Your social calendar is packed for months!    While their intentions are meant well, what I have found is that these are the people who have the biggest expectations for you and how you will lead this ministry.  Now, if you have been in Kids Ministry longer than 10 minutes, you know that it is like pulling teeth to get your team to attend trainings or appreciation events, so this is a vital time in your ministry, while you have their attention, to share your heart and your journey with as many people who will listen-and as often as they will listen!  It has been my experience that when people know you and what you are about, trust begins to build. Focus less on what you are going to do as their leader and more on letting them get to know who you are!

Listen and Watch. The first year you are in ministry, your main goal should be to assess the situation.  Sure! You might already have an idea of the direction you are going to lead this team, but it is more important to understand how everything is structured and why.  The first year is like drinking from a fire hydrant and it is your job to soak in as much as possible.  Avoid the urge to prove yourself and implement new programming or new events.  It is not your job to prove yourself, it is your job to lead a group of people into a growing relationship with God.  You can not do that if you do not know who you are leading. Identify people who are the key influencers on your team. Find the people that everyone listens to, and get them on your side!  Build relationships with those who have most influence on your team, and cast vision to them first!  Ask for their advice, their worries, and their concerns.  Listen to them. Consider their advice.  Remember! A this point, these are people who have more influence than you do and there is a reason for it!  When it comes time to make changes, these influences will go o bat for you with the others, and it will make all the difference!

Cast Vision-Create a Culture. Once you have identified your key leaders and have worked out a strategy together, it will be time to implement.  The key to casting vision is to help your team understand WHY staying "here" is no longer an option and why moving forward is the only solution!  Paint a clear picture! Tell stories!  Give your team a clear and exciting mission and repeat it as often as possible!  Creating a new culture will take time, and while you have been working on this strategy for a year with your key influencers, your team is hearing it for the first time!  The most important part leadership strategy is your energy-if you aren't excited, nobody will be.  It will take time, don't be discouraged!  While you feel like a broken record, repeat your strategy-your team should be able to repeat it back to you!  Celebrate wins!  When you see someone on your team connect with they strategy, then AMP IT UP!  Tell everyone!  What is rewarded gets repeated!




What are some lessons, in your first years in leadership, that you had to learn the hard way?

On your mark!

I can remember when I was preparing to move away to college, wishing that I had some cool middle name that I could start going by instead of Leslie.  I pictured starting a fresh new life where nobody knew me and thinking about how awesome it would be to just start all over from scratch with some exotic name like "Alexandra."  Who would know?!  ONLY ME!
As luck should have it, my middle name is Rae and I didn't see that as a suitable name for my new alias....  so I stuck with good ol' Leslie.

There is something so exciting about starting over! When we start over we get a chance to do new things we never thought we could!  Starting over also gives us a chance to do some of the things we have always done, only better!  Starting over provides prospective and possibilities!

When I think about new leadership opportunities, it reminds me of a blank canvas. 

I am no artist, but I imagine that when an artist is looking at a blank canvas they are able to see the picture they want to paint in their head.  They see the colors they want to use, the different styles of brushes, and techniques to create the contrasts that will make that picture take life!

THIS! is the same as leadership!

Leaders see the "picture" already in their heads/hearts.  Its learning what the right steps are that makes the process challenging!

As a leader, it has always been my experience that the first step is "painting a clear picture" to your team.

You have the vision and only you can cast it! Nobody can do it for you and unless Sylvia Brown is on your team, NOBODY CAN READ YOUR MIND!

I have never seen any team leader come in and start barking orders and be able to retain any followers for longer than a year. 

John Maxwell says it like this: "People don't quit organizations, they quit people."

When your team doesn't know "the why" behind "the what," then they are not bought in!  What is a deep burning passion in your heart, is not in theirs! Why?  Because they don't know WHY they are doing WHAT they are doing!!!

When your team can see the colors, taste the tastes, smell the smells, feel the texture of your picture, they feel ownership in it and want to see it work! 

People do not feel significant until you give them something significant to do.

How are you encouraging your team?  Do they know your heart as their leader?  Do they know the WHY behind what they are doing?  Do they even know what they are supposed to be doing?

It's dangerous to assume.

It is one thing to manage a team, which is important, but it is another thing to lead them! 

Managers keep things running the same, leaders influence growth!

What's Gonna Work?

I was a child once, I have 3 children of my own, I have been around children all of my life, and it seems that we are primed for teamwork at a very young age. When we are just toddlers we are told to take turns, to share, to cooporate, to listen, to "use our words," to follow the rules, to consider others feelings, and that there are consequences to all of our choices. 

The best example of team work I have ever been part of, happened 3 years ago and all i could do is watch. 

I was in the hospital, in labor with our youngest child.  By all accounts the labor was running smoothly and consistent with my last 2 deliveries.

The doctor came in to break my water, and when she did, the umbilical cord, came out.  To all of our surprise, we had an emergancy on our hands.  (The umbilical cord is a life line to the baby, if it is cut off, the oxygen is cut off.)  This is called a Prolapsed Cord.

Instantly, my doctor was on the bed with me,  she began talking softly and camly, explaining exactly what was happening-she told me that she had to keep her hand on the baby's head as to keep it from cutting off the oxygen for the baby.  My doctor told me to keep my eyes on her and to stay calm. (yeah, right)

The nurse  who had been taking care of me had already jumped into action.  I was moved onto another bed (along with the doctor who was attached to me) and being wheeled to the O.R. very quickly.  Everything seemed so fast paced that I couldn't process what was happening quick enough. 

The nurse was yelling orders to the team of other nurses as they were rushing around prepping for my c-section.

I noticed that my nurse was THE ONLY ONE speaking.  My doctor was with me on the bed, and looking at my face, she only spoke to me calmly and quietly.  The nurse seemed rushed and anxious but TOTALLY in charge.

We arrived in the O.R. and the anaesthesiologist greeted me, keeping his voice soft and calm.  He told me what was happening and held my hand. 

After what seemed like 15 seconds, my doctor was off the bed, hands washed, gloves on, medical apron on, hair in ponytail and cutting me open to save my littlest one.

I remember thinking "She was just "elbow deep" holding my baby's head in place and now she is cutting me open-not to mention wearing a ponytail!" 

I blinked a couple of times and our baby was born!

A tiny and sweet little girl. Healthy.

11 minutes from the time my doctor has broken my water.

Leadership lesson?


Take initiative.  See what needs done and do it! Had the nurses waited for the doctor to bark orders we might not have had a better outcome.  The nurses knew that the doctor was concerned about ME and that they had to do the grunt work.

The doctor and the nurses knew the seriousness of the situation, she also knew that if I (the patient) saw her panic that things could get worse.

That day, nobody worried about who was most qualified, or who was in charge, or how they appeared to others.  Ego was nowhere to be found. 

While the doctor was assuring me, the nurses took charge and made things happen!  From the moving me to another bed to the Doctor's ponytail, this was a team that worked together and had the same END in MIND.

Safety and wellbeing of Patient and child.

Job well done.


It is amazing what we can do when it doesn't matter who gets the credit.

The Happiness Advantage

Dream jobs DO exsist!  I got the HONOR to be asked to write a month long book study of
THE HAPPINESS ADVANTAGE by Shawn Achor, for the orangeleaders.com blog!!!!

This is week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Week 4

Week 5


I will be back on orangeleaders.com blog in July to study The Catalyst Leader by Brad Lomenick --that gives you some time to order it and read along with me!

Summertime Memories

I have a love-hate relationship with summer.  I love flip flops, ice cream, swimming, the smell of freshly cut grass, suntan lotion, lemonade, and cookouts. I hate mosquito bites, humidity, sweating, sunburns, and the pressure I feel to find my kids something to do everyday to keep them out of my hair until it is time to go back to school. I see all the pins on Pinterest suggesting "101 Things To Do This Summer With Your Kids," and while I pin them to my "Perfect Mom" board, the likelihood of my actually opening the link and reading the article is slim-very slim.  (My "Mother of the Year" crown is on back order.)

I don't know about you, but I put a lot of pressure on myself to make these "Hallmark Moment" family vacations for our kids and in reality, no matter how hard I plan, those vacations never turn out like I had pictured it in my mind. 

The truth is that when I reflect on the those summer memories of my own childhood, it is the simple things that were often unplanned and completely part of the fabric of our everyday lives that stand out most to me.  I grew up living in the same town as a lot of my cousins and both sets of grandparents.  In the summer, it was not uncommon to find us all at my grandparents house.  My Mamaw and Papaw lived in the same house for over 50 years.  It was this tiny little buttery yellow house that set on the edge of the Morehead State University campus.  Although our family took lots of fun vacations, it was sitting under the big tree in my grandparents front yard with my Papaw Bill,  digging holes in the dirt with my Mamaw's kitchen spoons with my cousins that I remember the best!  We used to have dance parties (no music needed) in that front yard and when cars would pass we would all freeze in some "cool" pose.  Those are the things that didn't cost a penny, and  looking back, I wouldn't trade for any amount of money!

Moments like these are often hard to manufacture, but they mean so much!  In "Orange" terms, we call this CREATING A RHYTHM. One thing every kid really needs is memorable moments with their families and if we are all being honest, that costs us very little money and in the long run is something money can't by. As we enter this summer, I am challenged to slow down, and take time to enjoy simple moments with my kids, as I suspect it will be in those moments that we make the most memories.

Empty

When I notice that my gas light is on, I instantly start to sweat.  Panic sets in.  I instantly start praying, "God, please just get me to the nearest gas station and I promise to NEVER let my car get this empty again."

We have all seen them.  Those who are less fortunate and do not make it to the nearest gas station and run out of gas on the side of the road.  They are walking down the road with their heads tucked between the tails in shame.

We sit in our cars watching their misfortune unfold and think, "How did you let it get that empty, buddy?  Stinks to be you."

This is true in our lives.  We "drive" around day in and day out not really paying attention to our "tank."

We push ourselves, overbook ourselves and do way more than one person ever should, praying that God just get us to the finish line of our deadlines and promise that we will never overbook ourselves again!

Before we know it, we are on EMPTY!
The things we used to love doing, now make us want to pour bleach into a flesh wound.  We find ourselves sitting in our bathrobes eating a gallon of chocolate ice cream singing "In the Arms of an Angel...." wondering how we had gotten this bad.

What is it about our nature that we over commit ourselves?  Why do we bite off more than we can chew time after time after time?

Something I learned a long time ago was TIME FORECASTING.  Making it a priority to schedule things 90 days, 60 days, and 30 days out.  Knowing how to stay on task and prioritizing our calendar in advance is a great way to start getting control of your life and allows us to continue doing what we love!

When we keep loading up on our day to day tasks, NOTHING gets done well or it's late for a deadline.

There are some things that ONLY  YOU can do, there are other things that YOU can ask for help on!  The key is knowing the difference.

Who the HECK are YOU?

The 5th grade was a big year for me. I was 11 years old and finally in my last year of elementary school! To say I had entered my awkward stage would be an understatement.  I  was tall enough to be wearing my mother’s clothes and shoes, I wore deodorant, and while the rest of the girls my age were carrying barbie backpacks, I was carrying one of my mom's old purses stashed with maxi pads.  Let's face it-there is no real way to be descrete about that-espeically when you are still in elementary school.

So began a long journey of insecurity. All girls go through it-not all in the same ways, but there is a light switch that goes off in all of our minds that tells us “different is ugly” so we need to do whatever we can to hide who we really are to be whatever it is everyone else is…

I spent all of my teenage years desperately modeling the older and popular girls, making sure I did exactly what they did to fit in, to be normal, to be pretty! I got very good at being what everyone wanted me to be and by senior year of high school-I was the master.

I had made it! I was popular!

I had met every goal I had set for myself as an awkward 11 year old girl carrying her mom’s purse to recess. I was a cheerleader. I dated an athlete. I went to all the dances-with dates. I even made the homecoming court.

The world was as it should be!

By college, I found myself 4 hours away from home and that absolutely nothing I had worked all those years for , mattered to anyone at Anderson University.

I spent a lot of years making my identity what everyone expected me to be and in return had no idea who I really was!

I got married at 21 years old and spent the rest of my 20’s pregnant and sleep deprived. My identity was being at home with my babies. While I found that very fulfilling, I never lost that hole in my heart that I didn’t know who I was or what I was here for....

 Why do we spend so much time thinking about the
“if only’s” in our life?


 “If only I had taken that job…. If only I had went to college…If only I were married…If only I had children….If only I were single.…If only I had this car paid off…If only I was thinner…..if only I could stay focused…if only I had my masters.... MY LIFE WOULD BE BETTER!”

Who taught us that?

I think we taught ourselves.
What if we started practicing being OK with who the heck we are!?

What if we got really comfortable with the

 “even thoughs?”

I am beautiful, I am smart, I am ME…..even though…I didn’t go to college…I didn’t get that job…my friends betrayed me…even though I don’t have my masters…even though I am single…even though it sometimes feels like I h ave 1300 children and drive a mini van.

I am me and who I am will constantly be evolving and growing and I am happy and comfortable with that!

"Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is You-er than You."
-Dr. Suess

LIFE TOGETHER



There has been a lot of talk lately about making church intergenerational.  When I think of church I tend to D I VI D E everything up in in ages and stages of life. Kids go to KidsMinistry, Teenagers go to YouthGroup, and so on.  I use to roll my eyes at parents who would say "I want my kids to be in service with me so they can see me worship."

In a very snarky and under my breath tone, I would ask:

 "Well, then what are you doing all the other days of the week?" 

I won't lie, there is a part of me that is still not sure I have bought into the idea, but on the other hand, I never want to be considered unteachable or close minded.

So here is my thought.

If a church is going to be intergenerational, I think it has to go beyond having a kid take up offering, or leading a couple of songs with the worship team.  I think that being intergenerational is more than throwing a clip board with a coloring sheet and crayons to a kid so he or she has "something  to do" during the service that keeps them quiet.

I think that having kids serve is absolutely necessary, because that is what being the church is all about. 

I buy into the idea that people don't feel significant until
 you give them something significant to do!

If we serve in leadership, it is not about WHAT we do, it is about WHY we do it.


For me, Intergenerational Worship takes effort.  It is about people from all seasons of life coming together as a community and sharing life together.

LIFE TOGETHER.

It's a small group that meets in some one's home that consists of a couple in their 70s, a newly married couple, a family with teenagers, and a family with a newborn that are sharing life together.  It's telling stories, giving advice, feeling supported, by a diverse community of people that share one goal in common, to love each other like Christ loves the church.

It's a group of widows asking to come and visit a jr high girls small group and share in their lives with their stories and experiences.

Intergenerational does not mean PROGRAMMING, it means seeing a bigger picture.  It's about ending the segregation of the ages and stages of life and seeing that there is more to this life than our comfort and our desire to surround ourselves with the people we are most similar to.

If your heart is still beating, God is NOT done with you.

 Just because you have retired doesn't mean you stop being the church. Just because your kids have grown up and gone to college doesn't mean you don't have a lot of parenting advice to share.  Just because your kids are little and life is busy doesn't mean you can't ask for help. Just because you are single, doesn't mean you have nothing to offer married couples.  Just because you're young, does not mean you don't have a voice.

God uses us in every stage,when we are intergenerational we ask the question:

 "What am I doing to pour into the generation that is directly behind me?"

I think that makes us intergenerational.

I think that makes us intentional.

I think that makes us strategic.

I think it makes us THE CHURCH.

It's more than programming.  It's a lifestyle.

Time keeps on slippin...

Connecting, Devoting, Engaging OH MY! With all this talk of this  the go.love.life, I  think I am beginning to break a sweat! Don't get me wrong here, I believe in this mission...I am just baffled at when I am going to fit it all in my schedule!

My husband and I have been married for 10 years and have 3 small-ish children.  We moved into our new home  just 2 days before our oldest 2 kids started school in their new school!  Our life feels like it is running us instead of us running it!

There is nothing more discouraging after hearing the white hot vision for where God is leading us at Church at the Crossing to CONNECT with God and others, DEVOTE to The Word and to prayer and ENGAGE in our community and world, and think to yourself ..
"Ain't nobody got time for that!"

I. DON'T. HAVE. TIME.

I don't have time to meet new friends, I don't have time for the friends I do have!  I can't connect with God, I can't even connect with my husband! When will I have a second to devote to prayer and Bible Study?  The only thing I have time to read are the magazine covers in the checkout line at Kroger!  Engage?  WHEN?  When will I be able to serve in a ministry or go on a trip out of the country,  I haven't left my house in days!

Then it hit me.

While yes, it is true, I don't HAVE time to do much of anything, the real issue is that I have failed to MAKE time.

MY TIME IS MY TREASURE!
 In Matthew, chapter 6:21 (The Message) it says:
"The place where your treasure is, is the place you will most want to be, and end up being."

I hoard my time..I hold it tight with clenched hands, instead, I need to open my hands, palms up and let God HAVE it!

I guess my NEXT STEP is to STOP making excuses and stop the glorification of BUSY and DEVOTE. I need to devote my time and my life to God and His Word!  I need to repriortize my TIME..and instead make it God's time!

I have not been a good steward of my time.

If I want my kids to know what it IS to BE the Church, then I must turn the mirror to look at myself.

In ministry and as Christians, we are in the people busines. 

Sometimes, people can't HEAR what we are saying because what we are DOING is too loud!

More is caught than taught. 

go.love.

#gamechanger

A few years ago, when my younger brother was still in college, he very confidently announced, "Businesses have to stay relevant or die."  I had no real idea what he meant and asked him to explain and he said, "It's simple, you don't see anyone opening new pager companies these days...."

HA! Got it.

I have a lot of friends who are very leery of social media.  All this talk of Facebook and Twitter does not appeal to them.  They say things like "I don't have a twitter account, all that stuff just isn't for me."

That's fine, I guess.  I am sure that back when cars were invented people were saying the same thing.

"I don't know about all this automobile stuff...it's just not for me, I am gonna stick with riding my horse to work." 

"This cellular phone fad is just not for me" 

"I don't know what the big fuss over televisions are, it's just not for me..."

I wonder how long that lasted for them?  I think we know how that story ends.

The truth is, you don't have to embrace social  media, but the world is gonna move on without you.

Churches need to embrace that thought.

Sure, being the church means being present and connecting on a personal level.  I am not downplaying the power of face to face interaction, at all!  We need it more than ever!

..but after seeing this video, I think that means that this is a BOTH/AND scenario.

As church leaders, we tend to think that it's EITHER/OR issue when really, there is a third option.  Its not EITHER personal OR viral... its BOTH/AND.

Being relevant means we are helping others solve a problem. 

What are we helping solve by resisting social media?

The truth is, the church has a message of HOPE to share. When we embrace social media as part of our culture, HOPE GOES VIRAL.

Could this be "THE WELL" of our time?

Churches, we  can either stay relevant or die.

IT Matters.

Games, Pies and Changing

Have you ever notice that at family reunions there are certain ways that things are done only because it's the way they have always  been done?  "Uncle Ted" is in charge of games.  He has been in charge of games since 1964 and while there have been many games evolve since then, we do the games Uncle Ted does because, well, that's just how we have always done it and nobody better ever try to change it.

In my own life, a great example of this is when I was younger, our family would gather at my grandparents for Christmas Eve.  As she did every year, my great-grandmother would make several different pies.  As people would arrive, my grandmother would hug us and whisper "Don't forget to tell Mamaw Ivy that her pies were delicious..."

We all knew that even if we didn't eat a piece of pie, that Mamaw Ivy would be offended if people didn't tell her how good they were.

Church is kinda like Family Reunions.

I learned one of the most important lessons in ministry right out of the gate. I had just started an internship in a church that, in my view needed a lot of attention in the Kids Ministry department. I got the "keys" to lead and I ran with it! I started changing everything. I changed names of classes, I rearranged classrooms, I implemented a check-in system, and started recruiting volunteers.

Sounds great, right?   How could anyone NOT love all the great ideas and systems I was bringing to the table?   Here is the catch, nobody knew who in the world I was. Who did I think I was coming in and changing the way they did things?

I think what I take from that experience is that we must be sensitive to the reasons WHY things happen the way they happen in a church.  For example, before you go and paint over a mural of Noah's Ark in the nursery, honor the couple who's daughter painted it when they first built the church.

Before we change, we must gain trust and honor the people we are leading.

John Maxwell said it best: "People don't care how much you know UNTIL they know how much you care."

Jumpin' In!

Have you ever watched a team of jumpropers? The two with the rope start swinging it in motion and get their rhythm. As they are swinging the rope, the third party (or parties) watch carefully. Each time the rope goes by, they get a  little closer, and once they get the rhythm, they jump in!

 

It's really all about creating a system, being synchronized, having good instincts, and anticipation.

As I think about how we "do" church and how we appear to the guests who walk through our doors each week, it occurs to me that churches work much like this jumprope team, and I suspect there may be two kinds of "jumpers."

One type of guest/jumper that will walk through our doors, and instantly get it.  These guests will watch carefully, study the rhythm of how we operate  and as soon as they get it, will  jump in! They are familiar with church and  will know what to do.

The second type of guest, will walk in and instantly see teams working together.  People are talking, drinking coffee, signing up for events, dropping their kids off in a class, and are instantly overwhelmed. They are not familiar with this system.  It looks "clicky" and makes them feel back in high school again and how hard it was to "fit in."  They stand back and watch but never feel the tug to jump in.  Nobody asks them to join in, because they are just expected to! 

As a church community, how do we keep the "rhythm" of our jumpropes going, while also welcoming others to jump in!?  Just as our "jumpers" have to anticipate our next move, we need to anticipate theirs.  Its about being in sync.  It's about being focused on one thing, while not losing focus on what is going on in your "peripheral."